


Small Town Kind of Love

by itsjustmejenn



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Slow-ish burn, Teenager Carm, Teenager Laura, Vampire Carmilla
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-02-05 03:04:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12785577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsjustmejenn/pseuds/itsjustmejenn
Summary: Carmilla is sent away to live in a small town as punishment for something in her dark past. Teenager Carm is holding her secrets close as a small town girl Laura Hollis tries to figure her out. Carmilla tries to keep her distance but Laura doesn't make it easy.





	1. New Life, Same Carmilla

**Author's Note:**

> All following chapters will be a lot longer so have no fear! I'm not good at summaries and this is my first ever fic! I already have the next ten chapters written and will update every few days, I know waiting for the next chapter is super hard so I will NEVER take more than a week to update!! Enjoy :)

The bus was moving silently down the highway, the last bus station was back two hours. Carmilla had slept most of the way trying to ignore a whining child and a businessman talking too loudly on his phone. She had her earbuds in and watched as the scenery began to change. It was hard to see far under the night sky. Another rolls of crying began from the kid two seats up and Carmilla sighed loudly making her annoyance known. She pulled out a headphone as the driver’s voice spoke over the loudspeaker.

_ Attention passengers, the next stop is in twenty minutes, destination Darlington, Tennessee.  _

 

That was her stop. And flashes of why she was going there began to play in her head. 

\------

_ Mother shoved her hard.  _

_ “What have YOU done?” Carmilla was openly crying, her hand protectively covering her bruising cheek.  _

_ “I’m- I’m sorry Mother I didn’t mean to-” Another shove, this time the brunette’s back slamming into the wall.  _

_ “Enough Carmilla.” _

_ “Mother please, please I can be better! I can-” She was pleading her hands splayed in front of her trying to reason with the furious woman in front of her. The smack was audible. It resounded throughout the room, and just like that Carmilla’s mother had left her behind to choke back heart wrenching sobs. _

\-------

The brunette gently brushed a stray tear from her face careful not to irritate her now prominently darkened cheek. She took a shaky breath and stood the bus coming to a stop. She grabbed her rucksack and exited, stepping off into the southern air. Carmilla’s eyes searched the bus station that was empty with the exception of an older lady with short blonde hair. She may have been in her fifties. She was had a simple beauty to her. She sat quietly reading a book with a blue cover not paying any attention to the bus now pulling away, leaving Carmilla behind on the platform. She contemplated running, just turning and going but as soon as she began to turn, the lady looked up. 

“Oh my,” she sighed getting up walking over to Carmilla.

“Carmilla, you’ve certainly grown up. I’m May, but please call me Aunt May. Can I help you with your bag?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes and walked to the exit of the platform and May made a squeal and followed. When she finally exited the bus station Carmilla allowed May to lead the way to the car.  The ride was mostly silent, May shifted numerous times obviously uncomfortable by Carmilla’s atmosphere. It was only about 9 o’clock at night and finally May was driving through the main street of the town. Lights from small shops were still on and people walked and laughed on the sidewalks. 

 

“Carmilla, I know you don’t want to be here but it won’t be that bad. School starts in a couple days, there are a couple of places you could get a job… You can have new life here if you want it. And I know you don’t know me but I’m not like your mother.” May took a quick glance at Carmilla, who met her eyes. 

She settled on saying nothing.

She would never admit it but maybe May was right. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. How could it be compared to where she was from? Maybe Mother sending her away was truly a good thing. After a few more blocks May pulled into a gravel driveway, leading up to a small two story blue house. Carmilla got out of the car and followed May in silently. Upon entering, Carmilla saw the staircase leading upstairs to her right. Straight led into what she believed was the kitchen, and the room to the left was a living room. 

“Well, my room is down here off, of the kitchen. I assume you don’t want help settling. Your room is upstairs to the right, bathroom is across from it and a small study for your use is up there as well. Basically all upstairs is yours, I’ll respect your privacy as long as you don’t give me a reason to doubt it. Goodnight kid,” She finished walking off toward the kitchen. Carmilla pulled her eyes to the stairs and drug herself to the top of them. She glanced into the bathroom first, small and blue. The brunette then walked across the hall into what was her room. The walls were a burgundy color with white trim. Her bed sat in the middle of the small room. A closet was to the right and a small night table to the right of her bed. She carefully shut the door dropping her bag onto the floor and laying across her bed. Exhaustion quickly began to settle in as her eyes grew heavier. Maybe this won’t be so bad. 


	2. What's next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carm makes a friend, but not who you would think.

“Carmilla! Wake up and get dressed! We eat breakfast in this house!” May’s voice rang out from downstairs. 

The brunette sat up groggily and began to slowly get herself ready. She grabbed her clothes and toiletries and headed to the bathroom. After a much needed shower and change of clothes, she headed downstairs lazily. She could smell the pancakes and as she entered the slightly large kitchen, sat at the table to her left where a plate of chocolate chip pancakes and a glass of orange juice waited for her. When May finally turned toward her she jumped slightly,

“Jesus Carmilla, we need to talk about your silent movements, it's going to give me a heart attack.” May sat down in the seat across from her. Carmilla watched her carefully, still not touching her food. May began to eat and after a few minutes looked up from the newspaper at the brunette. Her face softened and smiled gently,

“You don’t have to wait for me to tell you to eat Carmilla, I’m not her,”

Again Carmilla said nothing. She began to slowly pick at her food. Carmilla wondered if her mother had at least told May she requires an addition to her regular appetite. But she had at least a few more days before it was necessary. Once breakfast was seemingly over, before Carmilla could retreat to upstairs May called her to stay. Carmilla rolled her eyes and her shoulders sagged in reaction. 

“The town is very nice, and it’ll be good if you get familiar with it. I can’t say I know anything you like but,” She shuffled to her purse and handed Carmilla a twenty. “You look like a reader, and there is a bookstore in town. Might be a good place to start.” Carmilla felt a small smile creep onto her face, and she mumbled a small thank you as she turned to go get her shoes. 

Within ten minutes Carmilla was walking into town. The town was small, May was right about that. Carmilla walked through a few blocks noting a small diner and cafe. It didn’t take long to find the book store. There was a small ding as she pushed the door open. It was lit warmly, and books covered every inch of the building. There was a counter to the right, where no one was. The first floor had a couple of tables and comfy reading chairs, followed by shelves and shelves. Carmilla began to wander simply enjoying everything about the small store. Here it was easy to forget everything. Forget about the stupid town, forget about Mother and why she was here. In this store was the potential to escape, thousands of options of different lives to explore, all of which seemed better than her own. 

She found a staircase in the far left corner of the shop and proceeded up, finding more shelves and more books, stacked high and low. Some new, some old. Carmilla went to turn the corner before a voice called from behind her.

“Excuse me miss,” Carmilla turned to see a gray haired lady, “I must have not heard the door. Old hearing and all. Can I help you find something?” 

Carmilla just smiled gently and shook her head. The lady smiled back, understanding.

“Well if you need me, give me a shout,” she replied turning to hobble down the stairs. Carmilla wandered the shelves for another hour glancing and reading summaries before finding a book that was more her speed. It was some philosophy book, one she hadn’t read before. She found the old lady behind the counter and pulled the twenty from her pocket. The old lady’s blue eyes watched Carmilla’s actions before shaking her head,

“I have a feeling we’ll see a lot of each other. First one is on me sweetheart,”

Carmilla began to protest about to speak, but the old lady beat her to it. 

“You wouldn’t argue with an old soul like me, right?” Carmilla glared playfully at her, and let out a small chuckle. 

“No ma’am, thank you,” grabbing the book off the counter. She opened the door to leave, and once she was outside someone slammed into her. Carmilla and her new book falling in the process. An irritated growl immediately rumbled out of Carmilla. 

“Whoa, sorry bro, totally my bad,” Carmilla looked up to see a tall muscular man child offering her a hand, which she swatted away. He reached down picking up her book and handing it to her as she stood. 

“Seriously I’m sorry,” Carmilla mumbled an appropriate response and moved around him. Trying to find the coffee shop she saw on her way to the bookstore. 

_ What a moron. How do you just not see someone? I’m tall enough and I’m sure I stick out like a sore thumb, he had to have seen me. He did it on purpose. Probably knew I wasn’t from around here. Like a joke or something, unless he just is that stupid, he did use bro in a sentence.  _

Carmilla stopped, turning into the coffee shop. It was small and crowded with older people sitting at tables and talking, while drinking their coffees. She took a deep breath collecting herself. The counter was on the left and Carmilla stood behind an old man, currently giving his order.  _ Okay, breathe. It’s just a coffee order. You want a large black coffee and that’s it. Just breathe, we got this.  _  Once he was done she stepped up to the register, meeting the eyes of a short haired ginger who was busy writing out the previous man’s order. 

“What can I get you?” 

“Large black coffee,” Carmilla replied shortly. The ginger finally looked up, before their face broke into a grin.

“You must be Carmilla, I’m Laf. They and Them pronouns please. You’re staying with Aunt May right?” Carmilla was taken back for a moment, obviously not prepared to have an actual conversation with anyone. 

“Er, yeah I am…” she trailed. The ginger quickly scribbled down something else on Carmilla’s order and passed it off to a barista then turning their attention back to Carmilla. 

“Aunt May is a legend of a lady, I’ll send you home with her coffee order too, she’ll appreciate it. You’re gonna be a junior right? At Silas High?”

Carmilla nodded, rolling her eyes becoming extremely annoyed with the ginger’s lack of respect for privacy. 

“Yes. Am I done my interrogation yet? Can I just have my coffee and go?” She questioned sharply, her voice rough. 

“I- yeah it’s on the house. For Aunt May. You can pick it up down there, see you ‘round!” Laf responded, as Carmilla walked away. She grabbed the two cups, tucking her book under her arm, and began to walk home. 

_ Home? What am I thinking? This crap town isn’t home. But neither is with Mother.  _ The thought process led to Carmilla’s realization, she didn’t really have a home.  _ I don’t need a home anyway and I don’t need anyone. It's safer that way. When no one is close no one can get hurt.  _ She kept repeating those thoughts in her head but really they were just a way of covering the pain of feeling like she didn’t have anyone simply because no one  _ needed _ her. When she walked in she could hear May singing in the kitchen. Carmilla walked closer to see her doing dishes with her back to her. Instead of interacting Carmilla placed the coffee and the twenty on the kitchen table and quietly retreated upstairs. 

Carmilla spent the rest of her day, mostly tucked away in her room. She went downstairs for lunch and dinner, never speaking to May. That woman tried really hard to get Carmilla to talk but the truth was she knew Mother. And if anyone knew Mother Carmilla knew to keep her mouth shut. May had made several comments about Carmilla’s dark bruise on her cheek. Saying she could get the ice pack if she wanted. It took a lot for Carmilla not to scoff.  _ An ice pack? She has be kidding. _

Carmilla finally took the time to inspect the study, it was a big room but seemed small due to all the books and big desk. It was dusty and looked like it hadn’t been touched in years. Carmilla was never one to snoop, but it was her study after all. She began to browse slowly, and cautiously, until she stumbled on something. After opening one of the drawers on the desk, she pulled out a picture of May and Lilita standing next to each other, arms wrapped around one another. May was smiling brightly and Lilita was, well, Lilita. It only further convinced Carmilla that May was close at some point with her heartless mother. She had to keep her distance. Distance is the safest thing, because at this point Carmilla didn’t have enough left in her for another loss. 


	3. Giants, Brunettes and Heart Fluttering, Oh My

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ENTER: Laura Hollis  
> EXIT: Carmilla's chill
> 
> aka Laura might have protected Carm thinking she needed it even though she didn't and it makes Carmilla smitten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is still relatively short, sorry! After more plot things are established it will definitely pick up in word count!  
> Spolier: the chapter after this one might have a little Laura POV ;)  
> Also feel free to follow my tumblr: jenni9199 with updates and I will probably start accepting prompts and such soon!! Feel free to message and converse with me!! Thanks for reading!

Carmilla slammed her hand down on the alarm next to her bed that was going off far too early. It crumbled under her hand and Carmilla groaned in annoyance. She forgot how hard it is to remain mindful of her strength. 

“Kid, hurry up. First day so get a hustle on!” May shouted from downstairs.

Pulling on her black jeans and loose black pocket tee, while walking to the bathroom. She brushed her fingers through her hair and left it natural. A thin line of eyeliner, a brush of mascara, and the necessities finished, Carmilla walked down the stairs. She walked into the kitchen grabbing her backpack and pulling on her high top converse. May grabbed her keys and explained she was going to drop Carmilla off since it was on her way to work. The car ride remained silent, May already use to the silence between them. May at least had the courtesy to oblige when Carmilla asked to be dropped off a block away from the school, so her reputation wouldn’t suffer before she even started school.

Silas High was pretty big for a small town, loser high school. She walked closer through the main entrance, trying to ignore the fact everyone was looking. _Relax. They’re going to look. You’re new. Just keep to yourself. Survive the day._ She found the office easily, it was right inside the entrance. The secretary seemed nice handing her her with schedule and locker combination. Carmilla set off through the halls, walking calmly even though she was genuinely a little on edge. She came up to her locker and began playing with the lock. Once opened dumped her backpack into it and walking off to class.

History was first and Carmilla found it right before the bell rang. She walked in, taking a seat in the back and began to tune out whatever the teacher had began saying. About ten minutes in Carmilla felt something, or someone poke her. _Poke? Seriously? Who would think that is a good idea?_ She turned to her left where she saw a grinning boy. It was the bro boy that had knocked her on her ass.

 

"Hey, you're Carmilla right?" He whispered, trying not to interrupt the teacher. She ignored him, turning her attention back toward the board. A couple seconds later she felt another poke. She turned quickly, 

"Seriously? Can you not?" she hissed lowly. His brows furrowed and he shook his head,

"Sorry angry-hottie, you are definitely Carmilla. I heard you were grumpy. I'm Kirsch by the way, if you ever need someone to show you around, or like take you on a date let me know little bro," Carmilla went to reply and insult this obviously overgrown baboon when the teacher called out. 

"Carmilla, since you are so knowledgable about World War II that you don't think you have to pay attention, who was Hirohito?" The teacher was middle aged, and radiated a power complex so naturally the raven haired teen rolled her eyes and replied, 

"Hirohito was the emperor of Japan from 1926 until he died in the nineties. His involvement in World War II was rather insignificant after Pearl Harbor when he became a political head with no power and his people didn't support him like that had in the beginning of the war when they allied with Germany after attacking numerous countries around them," The teacher's mouth hung open slightly, an angry red color creeping up his neck. The rest of the class was turned looking at her also shocked. 

"Yes-well done." He ground out between his teeth and continued his lesson. Everyone turned away from her focusing back on the front of the room. 

The rest of the morning periods went by quickly and the bell rang for lunch. Carmilla found the cafeteria and entered hesitantly. Whispers followed behind her and Carmilla simply scowled at anyone who met her eyes. Carmilla stood in the line and a warmth blossomed in her chest at the sound of a simple laugh. She turned looking for the source settling on a honey haired beauty a few tables away. The brunette had her head thrown back and she continued letting out a loud adorable laugh. When her eyes opened and her laughter died down Carmilla found herself staring at those light brown eyes that made her feel alive. This girl was beautiful and Carmilla was lost just looking at her.

"Next," the voice of the lunch lady cut into her and she tore her gaze away from the girl. She bought her lunch and walked to leave sneaking one last glance at the girl. She was stopped short, almost crashing into the redheaded girl towering over her.

“Going somewhere Dracula?” The tall girl sneered above her. The chatter in the room had stopped as everyone watched what was happening. Carmilla glanced around nervously, briefly meeting those concerned honey eyes that made her heart stop.  Carmilla’s heart started to beat faster, anxiety of being the center of attention rising.

“Trying but there’s a troll in my way,” Carmilla snarled back, her attention focusing. She tried to move around the girl, who stepped in her way again. The red head narrowed her eyes and spoke lowly,

“Listen here baby bat, I know who you are and-” Carmilla tipped her lunch tray forward shoving its contents all over the front of the bean stalk.The tray clattering on the floor between them.The big and not so friendly giant let out a growl,

“You _bitch_ ,” The girl reached out shoving Carmilla, who hardly moved. The redhead masked the shock over her face by throwing a fist toward Carmilla. Before Carmilla even got the chance to lay the giant out, the fist was caught mid swing. Carmilla looked over her shoulder to see the brunette, she was shorter than Carmilla's 5'4 frame. A small smile pulled at Carmilla's lips but the small girl was focused throwing dagger eyes at the redhead. It was cute, to see this small girl coming to Carmilla's defense as if she couldn't demolish the redhead. In a way Carmilla liked it, being protected. She had never had anyone like that, no one had ever thought she needed it and maybe that's why she was the way she was. Carmilla's heart fluttered again at the sound of the angry brunette's voice. 

“Danny, what the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?” the small girl pushed Danny’s fist away, releasing it.

“Hollis, I suggest you get your ass out of here, I'm gonna trash the new girl.” Carmilla let out a scoff and a mumbled "as if beanstalk". The Hollis girl had snuck a glance at Carmilla, her features softening before turning her attention back to Danny, her voice going cold. 

“Not a chance, we both know I could kick your ass any day so I _suggest_ you back off,” she paused, while the tall girl’s eyes flickered to her, “like right now,” Danny muttered something before brushing past the both of them roughly. Everyone’s eyes were still on Carmilla and the brunette snapped that they go back to whatever they were doing. Carmilla felt a small hand make its way into hers pulling her out of the cafeteria and into the empty hall. It took everything from Carmilla not to flinch and wrench her hand away out of habit, but instead she let the small girl lead her. Carmilla finally got a full look at the girl and her mouth fell agape involuntarily. The girl was now smiling at Carmilla, and her eyes were warm and kind. Her lips looked soft and welcoming. Everything about this girl seemed to make Carmilla forget how to breathe.

“I’m Laura Hollis,” she said bubbly, sticking out her hand which Carmilla took.

“Carmilla,”

‘I know,” her eyes went wide, “I mean, Idon’t _know_ , like everyone knows because it’s a small town and your locker is right next to mine and I saw you in town the other day and-”

“Easy cutie I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself,” Carmilla smirked as the brunette’s cheeks went a light shade of pink.

“I-sorry” she laughed lightly as the bell rang and the halls flooded with students. 

“I should go…” Carmilla trailed, glancing at all the students moving to class. 

“Right! Totally, I’ll see you,” Laura turned to walk in the opposite direction. Carmilla's eyes lingered watching the girl walk down the hall into the crowd of kids.

Carmilla didn’t know what it was about Laura Hollis but she had a feeling her plans of making no attachments was going to crash and burn.


	4. Coffee, Broody Girls and Sweetness?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LAURA POV- also I don't have a great understanding of second/third person writing so after this chapter everything will be in first person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I know I said a week at most but I wanted to make sure I didn't produce crap. It's short but something! Sorry Again, my depression has been kicking my butt lately but this is the update.

Laura turned away from Carmilla, a warmth blooming across her face in a light shade of pink. She made her way toward the paper room, every monday after lunch she was excused from her class to write for the school newspaper. Laura would be lying if she said she did anything productive. Her mind was trapped on the mystery that was Carmilla. She had heard some rumors, all of which seemed to be false upon their meeting. Lafontaine had said that Carmilla had been rude and allusive at the coffee shop, yet to Laura, she seemed almost shy. The town was small so whenever something happened, everyone naturally knew. But with Carmilla, everything was speculation. Some people said that she got into trouble with the cops and is laying low. Carmilla seemed like the kind to break the rules but not to the extent of having to move. No one knew how she was related to Aunt May and May wouldn't talk about it. The older lady would only speak of that she's known Carmilla's family a long time and Carmilla needed a change of pace. What that meant was left to interpretation. Danny, Laura's ex, clearly was not a fan, spreading rumors whenever she could. Danny was saying horrible things, non of which were worth any of Laura's time, and neither was Danny. 

There was something about Carmilla that seemed... gentle. Below everything, beyond the rumors and the secrets, that girl was tender. Just a few moments with her and Laura felt giddy and warm. Being under Carmilla's dark gaze had a way of unsettling her in the best way, in a way no one ever had. 

Laura finished out the school day, secretly hoping Carmilla would be in one of her classes, but was quickly disappointed. After the final bell Laura had gone to her locker hoping at least to speak to Carmilla again, but there was no sign of the girl. Laura walked out to the parking lot, climbing in her Jeep to drive home. In only a few minutes Laura walked in, quietly, even though her father wasn't home. He was a police office, and even though the town was small he was often out helping someone. Laura went through her routine like she always did after school, changing into leggings, an over sized shirt and putting her hair into a bun. She retreated to her room to do her homework. After what felt like hours of studying for her history test later in the week, Laura pulled on her shoes and walked to the cafe. 

Laura was greeted by Laf who was working the closing shift and had an hour to before they closed at 11pm. They immediately put the blonde's order in, hot chocolate and a chocolate chip cookie. Laf leaned over the counter and whispered,

"You're favorite broody crush is here too." They said nodding to the back corner. Laura looked over to Carmilla, and her eyes widened. Carmilla's hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, dressed in a loose black t-shirt and black jeans. She was focused on a book she had laid down on the table. 

"She's been here a while, I tacked on a black coffee so you have a reason to talk to her." Laura turned throwing a glare at Laf, who gave back knowing eyes. Laura grabbed the two cups and the bag with the cookie in it and walked over to Carmilla's table. She didn't even bother to look up.

"Uh, hey Carmilla. I don't know if you remember me but I'm-"

"I know who you are cupcake. What do you want?" she interrupted, still not looking up from her book. 

What is her deal? I get it if she hadn't met me but, she had. And when she did she was nice, and shy. Now she seems cold and aloof.

"That scrunched up face is adorable buttercup." Laura relaxed her face best she could and tried again with taking a deep breath.

"Look I just wanted to bring you coffee and see how you were doing." Laura stated evenly, placing the cup down in front of Carmilla beside her book. Carmilla finally looked up and oh wow. Being this close to her was entrancing. Laura felt pressured under her heated gaze. Her eyes weren't cold at all. They were passionate, pained. Being close to Carmilla was like being close to the sun, but the burn was worth the slightest chance to understand her. 

"I'm fine." She grabbed the cup and took a sip. Laura thought about just leaving for a minute but one more stare from Carmilla had her sitting across from her. Carmilla looked at her with mild disbelief and corked an eyebrow in amusement. 

"What do you think you're doing?" she said.

"Well I wanted to know how you were doing and anyone who says their fine is a liar. So how are you?" Laura finally replied. Carmilla opened her mouth to say something snarky, but instead she closed her mouth and her eyes softened. 

"It's... different then what I'm used to." Laura nodded, encouraging her to keep going. 

"The people- They're nice. Nosy, but nice. With the exception from the tall ginger." Laura let out a laugh.

"Yeah sorry about Danny. She can be a bitch when she wants to be." Carmilla smirked something turning in her mind.

"I think I had it coming. I didn't know I had been checking out her girlfriend and then dumped a lunch tray on her." 

"Whoa, we aren't together. We used to but things change. What about you? I'm sure you broke some poor girl's heart when you moved here." Carmilla shifted uncomfortably.

"I didn't break anyone heart by coming here." she answered sadly. Just as the sadness had came, it quickly left, a coldness being left in it's place.

"Look I should really go-"

"Carmilla you don't have to I'm sorry. I didn't-" Laura reached for her hand and she wrenched it away. Anger flashing through her eyes,

"Don't." She warned. "I'm not some puzzle for you to figure out and tell all your little friends."

"Carmilla- I know that. Can you just let me be your friend?" Her anger diminished and I'm surprised she doesn't get whip lash from how quickly she changes. 

"I don't know how to do that." Her voice now soft, lowering her eyes.

"I can show you okay?" She smirked and muttered something. "What?"

"I said I bet you could show me a lot of things cupcake." A fiery blush raced across my cheeks. She watched as Laura ducked her head to hide it. And Carmilla's voice a lot softer spoke again, "Don't hide when you blush... it's beautiful." And with that she got up taking her book and coffee leaving Laura to sit and gawk at the mystery that is Carmilla Karnstein. 


	5. A Little Bit of History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey little creampuffs reading !he holidays certainly threw my schedule out the window and I am a college student so I apologize hugely for the delay! Here is the chapter! Also I plan to be dropping the second chapter for my runaway fic sometime these next few days so look out!  
> \---THE UPDATE---  
> So I only added the title and fixed some minor mistakes that I noticed when I reread. There are probably still more but I will fix all of my chapters soon!

CARMILLA POV

 

I walked down stairs stifling a yawn and let out a small cough when I entered the kitchen. It had become a quick habit so I didn't scare May. I smirked a little thinking back to her telling me she wanted to get me a bell like a cat so she would here me. I sat down quietly and sat my book on the table, leaving May to finish plating the food; she would never let me help. That caught me off guard. There were a lot of things around the house she wouldn't allow me to help with, even though I hardly offered. I had asked once to do the yard work but was quickly discarded in a sweet way only she could manage. I think she just wanted me to seem normal in a way. She had yet to tell me straight but I understood. One mess up, one time I grab something to hard or get too angry and I was gone. At first I had contemplated messing up on purpose. To get out of this stupid town. But now, the thought of leaving made my stomach turn sour. It was a deep rooted feeling that I couldn't shake, and every time I tried I was reminded of those honey brown eyes.

May sat the food down on the table and I muttered thank you. I hesitated but picked up my fork and began to eat. As soon as I took the first bite I let it roll out of my mouth and back onto the plate with a disgusted groan. My stomach flipped and growled and I felt a pull in my chest, knowing that wasn't the kind of food I needed. I had extended myself far beyond when I was suppose to have fed, in whatever capacity. I didn't want to ask May, it made me feel ashamed. I would never admit that though. I looked up meeting wary eyes, and pleaded that she would understand. A pain pulled through my abdomen and I knew that I needed to ask. I opened my mouth but was cut off by the whistle of the tea kettle. May put up a finger to wait as she stood taking the kettle off and getting a mug. When she poured the contents into the mug the aroma was enough to tell me it wasn't tea. I gripped the table while my knuckles went white, keeping myself seated even though the pain had traveled to my gums. May turned slowly looking from the mug to me before sitting it in front of me and then taking her seat. I did the best I could to compose myself and raised the mug to my lips. The warmth of it flowed through my mouth and I let my eyes close. My body hummed with delight and the pain began to recede. I pulled the mug away from me and kept my eyes lowered as I sat the mug on the table. 

"My apologies." My voice cracked slightly and I cursed myself for it. 

"Carmilla look at me." I took a few more moments before raising my eyes to hers. They were soft. "Don't apologize for something that you need. But also don't be afraid to tell me you need it. She told me you would get grumpy and uncomfortable before it became painful, so why didn't you tell me?" I studied her for a moment before replying. 

"Thank you." I finished the mug and went back to eating my food. May didn't push my silence, I knew one day she would but today was not that day. I sat my plate and mug in the sink and before I could leave May spoke again. 

"She called... yesterday" I turned to her, even from the other side of the kitchen I could feel her fidget. I shrugged, signaling for her to continue. 

"She wanted to know how you were adjusting, if you were making any friends..." Honey brown eyes flashed in my mind. 

"I'd have to talk to make friends." I stated simply rolling my eyes. 

"It's for your own good Carmilla. I don't agree with a lot of things she says but I do agree on this one. You need to stay away from making close friends. It invites unwanted attention to your mother and she is being thorough." Anger bubbled in my chest and my knuckles went white holding onto my book tightly. 

"I understand." I ground out between clenched teeth. "I think I'm going to the book store for a while." She looked at me with sad eyes.

"Keep away from talking with people Carmilla I mean it, your mother is very serious about this and the last thing we both want is her coming here." 

"I'm going into town. I'll try to not interact with anyone." My voice dripping with anger and sass. I pulled my boots on and slammed the door behind me. 

 

 

LAURA POV

I entered the diner picking a table near the window and waited for Laf. They opened the door and grinned, greeting me.

“Hey frosh!” They sat down across from me and started looking over the menu. 

“Hey, how’d your date with Perry go?” I questioned, Laf looked up smiling bigger. I knew it would go well. They had been friends for so long and it was obvious to anyone but them how much they liked each other. 

“She’s amazing, well I already knew that but seriously, it was so good” Laf sat their menu down eyeing me carefully, “How about you? Any lucky ladies?” They wiggled their eyebrows.  _ Shit.  _

“Nope, nothing. Why would there be any-” A glimpse of black out the window had my head turning on its own accord. Carmilla was walking, across the street with her head down toward the bookstore. 

“You were saying,” Laf prodded, my attention snapping back to them.

“Shut up,” I mumbled as the waitress came taking our orders. 

“You know I met her before the cafe and school started right?” Laf said, taking a sip of their coffee. I eyed them carefully, 

“Yeah she lives up to the defensive, bitchy reputation we heard about,” I felt myself frown at that. 

I knew that wasn’t true. Well, maybe that hard exterior is but there is more to that girl. I thought about the cafe. Carmilla was brash but gentle at the same time. Cold but warm. She was a paradox. She had this way of making me confused. I didn't know if I wanted to hit her or kiss her. _Kiss her? What am I talking about, she probably is like that with everyone._  Breakfast went by smoothly, I kept checking every now and again to see if Carmilla had left. Once we paid the bill and went to go our separate ways, instead of going home I crossed the street. I had never been in the bookstore since I was young. After my mom died it made it to hard, that was our place. _Was I really about to go in here for a girl I hardly know?_   It'll be quick. _That's what psychology says right? A little exposure. Oh my God. I'm going crazy. Its been so long but all for her. A stranger who is mean and snarky... and beautiful and sweet to only me._ I was hit with the smell of dust as the door dinged. I stepped into the dimly lit shop and no one was to be seen. I drew a sharp breath in trying not to focus on my surroundings. I walked through the shop carefully, glancing over the numerous books before making my way to the stairs. About half way up I heard that raspy voice I loved. 

“How can you say that? To Kill a Mockingbird was a fantastic book!” An older voice responded quickly,

“Hun it was boring!” My heart fluttered as Carmilla let out a laugh. A genuine laugh.

“Clara, you have no respect for the classics. How do you even own a bookstore?”

“I don’t like things that are boring. The classics, my dear, are boring. What are you doing spending your Sunday in a boring bookshop anyway?” Clara asked, there was a shift in the atmosphere. 

“Me and May got into a disagreement,” Carmilla answered in a small voice, one like a child. I knew I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, it was rude and not polite, but I strained to hear more.

“Sweetheart, May hardly disagrees with anyone. I'm sure it's nothing.” There was a pause and I heard Carmilla shift.

“Have you ever seen something that everyone has and just wondered what it was like?” Carmilla questioned quietly. I breathed out a small yes, only for myself to hear.

"Where are you going with this kiddo?"

"I just-I thought this move would make things different. Being away from my mother and then meeting someone special... I just thought I could actually have my own life but she is still interceding. Twisting and controlling me from thousands of miles away. I want her to leave me alone."

I let out a slow but heavy breath. I knew her relationship with her mom was strained and that is becoming even more apparent. And someone special? I stopped listening turning and walking down the stairs slowly, my mind turning by itself.

"Laura?" the voice pulled me back into reality and I turned. At the top of the steps in her leather pants and plain black t-shirt with messy black curls, stood Carmilla. Her eyes were questioning but soft. "What are you doing here?" My brain was in overdrive and all that managed to come out of my mouth was 

"Book." A smirk pulled in the corner of her lips and I rushed out, "I needed a book for my research paper." God she's beautiful. And the way she said my name- I wish I could hear her say it in a different- 

"Cupcake?" My eyes went wide realizing I paid no attention to what she said. 

"What? Sorry I was thinking." She let out a light laugh.

"I could see the wheels turning from up there." She walked down the steps to meet me and continued "I said what book do you need?" 

"Something on individualism, it's for my intro to philosophy class." Carmilla gave me a questioning look for me to explain.

"I'm taking a college class at the community college the next town over to get my degree faster." She nodded in understanding before moving to a shelf disappearing in the stacks before reappearing with a book in hand. 

"This is a good one." She handed it to me gently. She seemed a lot nicer despite her conversation upstairs. 

"You read it?" I asked meeting her eyes challengingly.

"I have. It should propose some thought provoking subjects for any paper. If you need any help, let me know." The door dinged and May stood in the door frame. Carmilla went stiff and stepped away from me, a coldness draping over her like a shield.

"Hello Laura, Carmilla, we have to go pick up your new phone its ready." Carmilla moved toward the door hesitantly.  _Say something Hollis. Girl up and say something._

" Carm!" She turned, her eyes soft. "Um, thank you. For the book. And see you at school tomorrow?" A smile pulled at the corner of her lips, but it didn't take it's rightful place as May bumped her arm gently, Carmilla's smile disappearing and her face going stoic while her eyes remained warm.

"Yeah whatever Laura." She disappeared out the door with May leaving me to question everything that just occurred.

"Laura Ilene Hollis. It has been a long time since I saw you in my shop." I turned seeing Ms. Clara coming down the steps. 

"Four summers, correct?" I nodded a pain blossoming in my chest. 

"Did you find everything you need? Or should I say did Carmilla find what you need?" I couldn't help the eye roll that followed her question. It was simply out of frustration in complete lack of understanding that girl.

"She's a special girl Laura, surely you know that. Can I offer some old lady advice?" I nodded again. "Be patient. A lot of things are changing for her and she has to make a lot of decisions. Give her time." I stepped to the counter to pay for the book, I really did need it. Clara looked at me, a grin breaking across her face.

"Carmilla covered it dear." I left the bookstore with not only a smile but a blush. Carmilla was certainly a mystery, a beautifully complex mystery. 

 

 


	6. Lunch Dates, Heart Eyes and A Secret Talent?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff gets a little fluffy, plot takes a back seat to the fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 updates in a week??? Whhhaaatt? Yes your eyes do NOT deceive you. I have been feeling particularly inspired lately and recent comments of how much people are enjoying it make me want to write more! Not only is this an extra update but it is around 2,000 words which is the largest chapter yet! The more comments yall's leave the better and longer it gets so keep leaving them please!! Thank you so much for reading! And keep your eyes peeled another update might be very close in the future ;) love you baby creampuffs!!

**CARMILLA POV-------**

Monday morning rolled around all to quickly and the alarm on your new phone was going off somewhere in the covers. I searched frantically but gently, careful not to smash the delicate piece of metal and glass. After turning off the alarm, I got changed settling on black jeans, a white pocket t-shirt (have to switch it up sometimes), and my leather jacket over it. I let my hair curl naturally as it hung a little below my shoulders. I checked the time and walked down stairs. I coughed upon entering the kitchen before sitting in my usual spot.

 

It had officially been a week living here, it could be worse, you admitted to yourself. But isn’t it worse to be in a place where you could have everything you ever wanted, but not be allowed to have any of it?

Breakfast with May was quiet as usual. The car ride remained silent too. I could tell by the way her jaw clenched she wanted to say something, and as we pulled up to where I get out for school she spoke.

 

“Keep to yourself please.” I rolled my eyes, opening the door and then closing it a little harder than necessary.

 

It was one thing to have your dreams in front of you, knowing you can’t have them. But it was something entirely different having someone reminding you that you can’t have them. It hurt. I would never admit that, but it did. There was a tug deep in my chest that I couldn’t ignore and it made me wince.

 

I entered the school and made my way to my locker but slowed my pace as I saw the honey hair that was standing by my locker talking to a short haired ginger, whose name I believed was Laf. Laura was smiling and nodding at them, before her eyes shifted just over the ginger’s shoulder resting on me. She smiled brightly waving at me. Before I could stop myself half smile was on my lips and my hand tossed itself up in a half wave. I walked up to them slowly trying to remind myself to be distant. But with Laura standing there smiling, it was hard, because it felt natural. I wanted to be around her, near her… with her.

“Hey Carmilla.” Laf said giving me a half smile. My smile had faded and a disinterested frown replaced it.

“Hey.” I mumbled, “You’re on my locker.” I stated simply. They frowned at me and gave Laura a look before moving to the side. I opened my locker, glancing at Laura who was looking at me questioningly and concerned. I looked away, putting my bag in my locker but bringing my book. I closed it and walked to class leaving them behind me.

 

**LAURA POV---------**

 

I watched Carmilla walk away from me down the hall. Her leather jacket and black jeans making her stand out.

“I told you Laura, she seems like bad news. Or is just very good at trying to be disaffected.” Laf said before walking past me to their class. Something was definitely off with Carmilla and I wanted to know what it was. The bell rang and I walked quickly to my first class.

 

The next time I saw Carmilla was at lunch, I was sitting with Laf, Perry, and Kirsch. I hadn’t really been paying attention but I know that Kirsch was talking with Laf about an experiment they wanted to run, while Perry listed all the safety issues with it. I made eye contact with Danny across the cafeteria and she looked at me with questioning eyes, wondering what I was doing. A black blur in my peripheral had me turning toward the door where Carmilla just entered. I glanced back at Danny who was scowling. I felt a twinge of anger; Danny has always been like this, possessive and territorial. It was the exact reason our relationship ended so horribly. I knew that a lot of it came from her family, that’s how she was raised but it caused a lot of problems between us. My eyes went back to Carmilla, who caught me looking and that damn smirk crossed her lips as she kept walking towards the lunch line. Just as quick as she came, she left the cafeteria not glancing in my direction again. You wondered for a moment where she was going to eat. And whom she ate with. Before you knew what you were doing you grabbed your lunch box and shoved it in your backpack. You ignored the questions you friends tossed at you and followed Carmilla out the door. She was all the way down the hallway and walked out a side door that led to a part of the quad. You stopped at the door looking out, and a small smile grew on your face. She had just sat down under a large grove tree that no one bothered with. Carmilla sat her lunch next to her and picked up her book. You don’t know how long you stood there just watching. It was so simple. This was Carmilla, in a pure form. You blushed as she smiled down at whatever she was reading, before shaking your head and walking outside. Just as you got close enough, without even looking up she spoke.

 

“Cupcake. How can I help you?” How she knew it was you, you didn’t know but you shook it off and responded.

 

“Could I sit and eat with you?” She looked up at that, and you felt your heart skip a beat looking at those gentle brown eyes. She looked conflicted for a moment, and you feared she would say no.

 

“Can you or may you?” she retorted, smirking. I rolled my eyes playfully before asking again.

 

“May I sit and eat with you?” she smiled at you before patting the ground gently. You sat down carefully and unzipped your backpack. You could feel Carmilla’s eyes on you as you pulled out your lunch box.

 

“Doctor Who?” She asked with an eyebrow corked in amusement. You dipped your head a little more feeling your cheeks get warm.

 

“Yeah, I’ve always liked it… I guess it’s doesn't seem that cool.” After taking a deep breath you looked up at her and she smiled gently.

 

“It’s cool cupcake.” She assured and went back to her reading. And you spent the rest of your lunch with Carmilla Karnstein.

 

**CARMILLA POV** **\--------**

 

_What am I doing?_ I ask myself at least a hundred times as I try and read my book. I can hardly focus on any of the words because Laura is sitting right next to me eating peacefully from her Doctor Who lunch box. And I ask myself again _what am I doing?_ I’m supposed to be staying away from her, being an ass. I know that I need to get distance but I can’t seem to make my body move. But it’s planted here, next to her. And when the warning bell rings, I hate it, but I shouldn’t. I despise the bell; it pulls me from the only place in this stupid town I want to be, next to her. I force myself to stand and I don’t look at her as I mutter a weak bye before walking inside.

 

I go through the rest of my periods before getting a text from May.

 

**From: May @ 2:00pm: Running late. I’ll pick you up at 3:30.**

I sigh wondering what I’m supposed to do for an hour and a half. The final bell rings and you begin to wander the now almost empty halls. You stop mid walk and glance into the room on your right before a genuine smile creeps onto your face. You look around before opening the door and sneaking inside.

 

**LAURA POV----------**

 

I tried to push Carmilla from mind as I focused on my project. The school was empty by now, the final bell rung about an hour ago. I had a research paper due soon and wanted to get a majority of the research out of the way. I stayed in the library until I heard quiet music. A piano. It was soft and light, and I thought I was hearing things again. But I couldn’t deny it when the notes came harsher, fuller. I collected my books quickly and stood in the hallway listening. The notes became light again; gentle, and I followed the sound happily. As I walked down the hall toward the music room I saw the door slightly ajar just as the piano picked up once more. I pushed the door open more, curiosity getting the better of me, to see the back of a raven-haired girl. Carmilla. I backed out of the room, leaving the door open more and sat down in the hall just listening. The tempo slowed and she sang quietly.

_I got a little drunk last night baby,_

Her voice didn’t even sound like hers. It wasn’t cold or rough. It was purposeful and gentle, and loving. It was the voice I wanted Carmilla to use for me.

_Started thinking about you and I,_

_The way your lips just feel on mine,_

_Nothing ever gets me so high, yeah_

_Going through the motions,_

_Know your feeling worthless,_

_Baby baby,_

_I just wanna be with you,_

_Let me have your heart too_

_Baby baby,_

_Cause I don’t wanna be just another one of your lovers,_

_So let me take you by the hand and show you that I want you,_

_Well love like this comes from your kiss and I fall deeper again,_

_Cause I don’t wanna be just another one of your lovers,_

The piano seized a few moments after Carmilla had quit singing. I tensed trying to figure out if I should leave, or stay. I wanted to talk to Carmilla. I decided against it, Carmilla playing felt personal, too personal for me. I stood and walked down the hall with a small smile on my face hoping that one day she would play just for me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Just Another by CaRter, totally recommend it's a great song!


	7. Philosophy, and Kittens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get a little closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CATMILLA!! sorry not sorry. Hope you enjoy :) Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!

 

**CARMILLA POV**

 Another week passed by and Laura Hollis had joined you for lunch everyday this week. You hardly spoke, which you appreciated. It was unbelievably hard to not talk to her but it was okay because she filled the silence by rambling on about different topics. You two had developed a game that you had read about somewhere called don’t get me started. It was fun because you would just list any crazy topic and Laura would have to rant about the said topic. It was especially fun just watching her throw her head back and laugh at some of the absurd topics you picked.

 Friday night rolled around and I finally closed my book when I felt a small buzz.

 

**From 856-364-7345: Hey, it’s Laura. May gave me your number… I’m really struggling with my philosophy.**

You smiled and frowned at the same time, which you didn’t know was possible. The fact that Laura and May communicated at all made you uneasy, but you couldn’t stop the smile on your face from her texting you. You quickly push the thought of another “no friends” discussion with May to the back of your mind for now and answer your cupcake.

  **To Cupcake: Is that you asking for my help, Sundance?**

 I sat up, glancing at the top of my phone screen 7:08pm. I had thought it was way later. Maybe if she really needs help we could meet at the café… you ignored the fact you were really hoping she needed help. The buzz came seconds later.

  **From Cupcake: YES. Please I’ll even buy the drinks, or French fries whatever you want but I desperately need your help or I’m going to fail.**

The smile grew across my face and you tried smothering it in a smirk, which only worked for a few minutes.

**To Cupcake: Be at the café in 15 minutes.**

I quickly stood pocketing my phone in the back pocket of my black jeans and pulled on a dark gray and red hoodie. The hoodie wasn't because I got cold but it was unbelievably comfy. I laced my converse quickly, grabbed my book and backpack before walking down stairs. I entered into the living room where May looked over from the TV with an eyebrow raised.

“Going somewhere?” she asked, her voice knowing full well.

I shrugged, “Yeah the café, L- that Hollis girl needs help with her philosophy class.”

 May frowned slightly but then evened her face as if she wasn’t bothered.

 “How does she know you’re good at philosophy?”

 “Clara was busy with something when she came in so I helped her get a book for her class. She asked if I had read it and I have. I don’t see the big deal. I’m not spilling huge family secrets, it’s just a study session with a girl I hardly know May.”

 She nodded, “Well, all right then. Be careful, yeah?” I nodded absently and turned to leave. The walk was easy and when I opened the café door I looked for Laura. _Play it cool Karnstein. Be mysterious and don’t get close._ You determined that you had beaten her here and walked up to the register. Lafontaine gave you a half smile. _Laura’s friend, I should at least be somewhat polite._

“Hey Laf.” You spoke evenly.

“Karnstein, what can I get you?”

“Large black coffee, large hot chocolate and two chocolate chip cookies… please.” You muttered the pleasantry, can’t have people thinking you’re too nice. Laf’s face turned into a shit-eating grin and a half.

“Will a certain little blonde be joining the broody newcomer?” You felt a small smile pull at the corner of your lips and Lafontaine definitely noticed.

“It’s just a- we’re just studying…” I trailed frowning at them; you wish it were what they were suggesting. But it isn’t. It’s just a study session.

“Right. I’ll bring it out.”

“You can hold off till she gets here- to bring it out, you know so it’s still warm.” You say quietly. Laf smiles softer this time,

“Of course.”

 

**LAURA POV**

 I threw the café door open and immediately saw the back of Carmilla reading, not paying attention. I walked up to the register where Laf was standing.

“Hey Laf! I need a large black coffee, a large hot chocolate and two chocolate chip cookies please!” They smile at you before walking away and coming back with all of it, and you raise an eyebrow.

“That was fast…” Laf’s smile turned into a grin, sitting everything on the counter between them.

“Yeah well miss broody, leather pants ordered it for you when she got here. Looked all smitten and was actually kind of decent, sweet, even, in regards to you.” They said. I felt the blush creep onto my face and grabbed the drinks and cookies, mouthing thanks.

“Hey” You say simply, and Carmilla jumps. Honest to God, jumps. You stifle your laugh with a smile,

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” I sat everything on the table and shrug off my backpack, pulling out my book and notebook. I looked up at her and she had ducked her head as if embarrassed.

“You didn’t scare me cupcake.” She mumbled, and you hummed in response. You took a moment longer to look at her. Her dark curls were hanging loosely and her hoodie hung off of her petite body, it wasn't fair that even dressed down she looked so perfect. You flipped to the page you were on in your book and find the right page in your notebook.

“Okay scared-y cat,” she met your eyes with a playful frown,

“I decided that I want to write on this quote but I need you to explain it to me.” I turned the book toward her pointing to it even though it was highlighted.

 

“ ‘For Wolfe, the experience of loneliness is neither strange nor curious, but 'inevitable and right' because it is part of the human heart. Just as the experience of joy is heightened by sorrow, loneliness, 'haunted always with the certainty of death,' makes life precious. Loneliness and death are thus inescapable facets of human existence, each ontologically necessary for a coherent human life.’” She pushed the book back toward me, and spoke,

“What’s not to get cupcake?”

 

I stared at her blankly as if she was crazy, and she sighed loudly.

 

“It’s a good thing you’re cute.” Carmilla launched into a detailed explanation of the Wolfe guy and his ideas. It was weird to hear her talk so much at one time. I normally had to poke and pry to get anything out of her but here, talking about something she clearly enjoyed brought a small smile to my face. She began gesturing with her hands as she explained different aspects, eyes lighting up and every now and then she would smile when she met my eyes. It was like I was watching her without a filter, it was raw and real.

 

“End point being, Wolfe believed that everyone is alone at some point and feels lonely. That even though people may feel isolated, within that feeling we, as humans, are not alone, simply because we all feel that way. And feeling lonely is important because it makes you value the moments you don’t feel so alone anymore.” Carmilla said the last bit with a gentle smile and soft eyes piercing into mine.

“You’re amazing.” You sputter out before you can stop yourself. Carmilla’s reaction is not what you expected at all. You expected a snarky comment or a blush, but her shoulders droop and there’s a small wince in her face as if you hit her.

“What’s that?” Apparently you can’t hold your tongue today. She looks up at you,

“What’s what?” She asks quietly.

“That thing you just did. You are amazing and you act like you don’t believe it.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe it… You’re just the first person to ever say that to me.” Carmilla raises her eyes slowly back to yours watching your reaction carefully. My heart sinks. How could I be the first person to tell her that? She deserves to be told all the time, everyday, and you’d be happy to be the one to tell her. In your mind you create a goal, that one-day you will tell her and she will smile and blush. Carmilla’s eyes are still on you and they look scared. You realize you’ve been so wrapped up in your own thoughts you haven’t said anything.

“You’re going to hear it a lot more often from me then.” She smiles softly at you and go back to writing out your explanation.

 

**CARMILLA POV**

 You glance up from your book periodically just to look at her. This time you smile, the tip of her tongue sticking out as she writes frantically, as if she doesn’t want to forget her train of thought. She finishes whatever bit she’s writing and takes a shy look up and smiles meeting my eyes. I felt a slight buzz and pulled my phone out of my back pocket.

**From May: I hope you’re being mindful. I technically work for your mother and have to tell her if your getting in too deep with people… I would keep that in mind.**

**To May: It’s fine. We’re almost done anyway. Be home in a few minutes.**

I look back up at Laura, her brows furrowed in concern.

“Sorry, cupcake. I have to go.” Laura frowned, obviously disappointed.

“Oh, okay.” There was a slight pain in your chest; you hated being the cause of her disappointment. But you reminded yourself, what else was new. I stood up collecting my book and backpack.

 

“Will you be okay getting home by yourself? It’s pretty dark out…” I mentally smacked myself for sounding like I cared so much. The truth was I did care though and that was the problem, I needed to stop caring.

“Yeah I’ll be okay Carm thanks, see you.” She said and you turned, leaving the café and Laura behind you.  _She called me Carm._ A blush crept onto your cheeks and I took a deep breath of relief, again not that you needed to, being dead and all, but Laura had a way of making you tense. Tense in the best way, in a nervous crush kind of way.  _Crush? What am I saying?_ I shook my head and hurried home.

 

I said hi to May as I entered and conversed lightly, avoiding majority of what I could and keeping everything vague. I said good night and ran up the stairs, closing and locking my door. I checked my clock as it read 10:30 pm. I was totally going to get in trouble if I got caught doing this. I shifted some pillow in my bed to look like someone was under the covers and then silently moved to my bedroom window, opening it quietly. You closed you eyes and tingles covered your body. When I opened my eyes, I was a lot shorter and had four legs. I caught a glimpse of myself in my mirror and admired my black fur and dark eyes.

I leapt out the window and took a light run back to the café. I jumped up against the door, pressing my front paws against the glass door, peering in. Laura was still there, talking to Laf as they sat with her. Laura began to pack her things as Laf got up to close the shop. I pushed myself away from the door as Laura walked toward the exit. She began her walk in the opposite way of my house and I followed behind her quietly. She turned the corner and before I could follow she jumped back out facing me, yelling.

 

“Caught you!” I jumped, completely startled by the outburst, instinctively going to run only to slam into the wall next to me, stumbling back dazed.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry little guy; I thought someone bigger was following me! I didn’t mean to scare you.” She cooed, kneeling down. She reached her hand out to pet my head and I allowed it. Pushing my head further into her embrace, and she started rubbing her thumb between my eyes. A low rumble came from my chest involuntarily, my eyes opened and I stepped back. She looked at me for a moment.

 

“Hm, ashamed that you enjoy affection, are you?” I stare at her blankly, _but the answer is yes, I am. I make irrational decisions around you._

All my thoughts came out in a string of meows, that even in cat it sounded exactly like how I grumble in human form. I wasn’t the only one to notice the similarity as Laura raised an eyebrow at me while scooping me up in her arms.

 

“You know you and my- Carm would get along really well.” _My-Carm. She didn’t know what to call me. That’s probably a good thing; I don’t want her getting too attached to me._ Another meow. Laura took the meow as a question and started talking as she walked towards her house.

 

“She’s this girl. She’s new to town. And goodness, she’s beautiful- I need a name for you, even if you don’t stay. Cause I want to talk but I can’t talk to anyone about her. Let’s call you… Bags, short for Bagherra.” I let out a meow in agreement, wanting her to go on about me. Which seems narcissistic but I really just love hearing her thoughts about me in a non-filtered way.

 

“Anyway Bags, she’s beautiful and god, so smart. And talented!” _Talented? I questioned._ Meow. Laura blushed slightly as if remembering something.

“I-I kind of spied on her a little… It wasn’t intentional Bags! Don’t look at me like that! I stayed after school to do a paper one day and I, well, I heard the piano and went to investigate. So I followed the sound and saw her sitting there, she started singing and I was so entranced. It was so beautiful just watching her while she thought no one was. I wish I could hear her play again, but like for me, you know? That’s totally crazy thinking because she is like drop dead gorgeous and girl’s like that don’t like girls like me.”

 

I could feel myself frown, even if I was a cat I knew the frown is displayed on my cat face. Laura looked down at me and smiled sadly.

 

“Don’t give me that face Bags. I know it sounds self-deprecating but it’s the truth, I’m just being realistic. Alright so this is my stop kitty. I guess you need to get back to whoever you belong to.”

 

She sat me back on the ground gently and I shivered slightly, missing her contact. I sat down and watched her wave before walking up to her door. As soon as she was inside, I turned going back to my own house.

It was a long and sad walk. The girl’s face was in your mind and she is so extraordinary- _stop. This is exactly what got you in a mess with mother before. Keep your feelings to yourself Karnstein. The closer she is the more hurt she could get._ I knew in that thought process that if I wanted to keep her safe I would have to hurt her. Laura was not the kind of person to let someone go. It broke my heart, knowing that I was going to have to break hers for her to stay away from me. But she deserves better so you’re doing her a favor, she wouldn’t like you if she knew the real you. The liar you, the killer you... the monster you, she’d be disgusted by you just like E- no Laura wasn’t her, don’t make them connected. Laura is good, and kind. She is loving and trusting, sweet and too perfect for someone like me. The only way to make sure she is safe is to make her hate me. I knew I would have to tear her heart in two, but it didn’t have to be just yet. I just want to be with her a little longer before she never speaks to me again. I want to let myself feel just a little longer, because I had a feeling after I lose her I won't feel anything at all.


	8. Bathroom Arguments and Classroom Hugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla is feeling the pressure from May, and is slowly suffocating under it.  
> Laura is hooked on Carmilla.  
> They obvi like each other but they're dumb.
> 
> Carm is struggling with her bloodlust.  
> May got a lot meaner? why?- to be discovered...
> 
> LIL ANGST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. 
> 
> Also Cliffhanger?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOO SORRY. I started my final semester of college yesterday and everything has been insane. I will probably updating every week/every other week depending on how much homework I have and what not! Most of the updates will be on either Monday or Wednesday because I'm not in school those days!  
> Please leave a comment if you liked it and what your predictions/ what you would like to see happen!! 
> 
> Love you creampuffs, sorry again!

**LAURA POV**

 I started to notice things about Carmilla. Little things that shouldn’t bother me but they do. I hadn’t talked to her since she helped me with my philosophy homework, which was about a week ago. I’m sitting at breakfast with my dad when Carmilla enters with May. I can easily tell by the frown on her lips and furrowed eyebrows, she was exceptionally grumpy. This had become her normal mood at school and she had grown a lot quieter around me.

I had known Aunt May since I was young and she always seemed sweet, but there was an uncomfortable coldness between her and Carmilla. You could almost feel the tension between them. Carmilla looked over at you, and I felt a smile grow. She looked at me for a second longer before May saw what she was looking at and lightly but sternly pulled Carmilla along into the diner. She looked over her shoulder, her eyes blank. They sat at a table toward the back sitting cross from each other and I could see both of them easily.

I found myself watching them the entire breakfast, my dad was too involved reading his newspaper to even notice. Throughout the breakfast more questions piled up. Carmilla had ordered food but hardly ate any of it. May glanced around and said something to Carmilla, seemingly scolding her. Carm tensed before taking larger bites but the way she grimaced each bite suggested she didn’t like the food.

I found myself standing and walking toward the bathroom. Just as the door was about to close behind me, it swung open Carmilla rushing in. My eyes were wide and she looked at me for a moment before snapping out of whatever trance she was in.

“Can you quit it with the staring?” She asked sharply, her voice cutting into me like a knife. I felt something ache in my chest and frowned.

“What’s wrong with you? You seem so off… You weren’t like this last week.” She ran a hand through her hair roughly, and then stepped closer a few inches from my face.

“I’m fine, you just won’t stop staring.” I looked deeper at her eyes, which seemed unusually dark and dilated. My mouth hung open as many thoughts crossed my mind.

“Carm… your eyes… Are you on drugs or something?” The raven-haired girl tensed for a moment before stepping back.

“I’m not on drugs, Laura. _God_. I didn’t come in here to have a conversation. I came to tell you to back off and quit staring. May is noticing and its going to get me in tr- you know what I don’t have time for this.” She turned on a heel and was gone the door shutting behind her.

         What was she going to say? Trouble? How could me looking at her get her in trouble with May? And her eyes… Was it the light in here? It had to have been, they were nearly black… I finished in the bathroom and went back to my table. May and Carmilla were seemingly even more mad at each other, whispering to one another. I watched closely, completely disregarding everything Carmilla had said. They were getting pretty heated. Carmilla’s body was coiled and tense, like a snake ready to strike. Her face was scrunched in a callous way that made me wince. May said something and whatever it was caused everything about Carmilla to crumble. Her face fell and her shoulders slumped. Even from across the room and with her head dipped low, I could see the glistening of unshed tears on the brim of falling. She looked over to me meeting my gaze and immediately hardened. She got up quickly leaving the diner, throwing the door open; it made a loud thud and everyone’s eyes focused on the retreating figure of Carmilla. I looked back to May, and her eyes were locked on me, all sense of compassion gone. She stood leaving money on the table and followed Carmilla out. What was happening?

 

**CARMILLA POV**

 

“Can you quit it with the staring?” I asked making my voice go cold. I ignored the way my heart sank when Laura frowned.

“What’s wrong with you? You seem so off… You weren’t like this last week.” Laura questioned.

She wasn’t wrong. I felt off, uncertain, unbalanced. I hadn’t fed in almost a week and I was slipping. I ran my hand through my hair roughly, and then stepped closer ignoring the burning I immediately felt in my throat.

“I’m fine, you just won’t stop staring.” She studied me, eyes flickering back and forth at mine. Her mouth hung open and I could see the wheels turning in her mind.

“Carm… your eyes… Are you on drugs or something?”

I felt my body coil and I stepped away from her. I shouldn’t even be this close to her, it’s not safe. I finally found my voice after swallowing roughly.

“I’m not on drugs, Laura. _God_. I didn’t come in here to have a conversation. I came to tell you to back off and quit staring. May is noticing and its going to get me in tr- you know what I don’t have time for this.” I turned quickly and let the door slam behind me.         

         When I sat back down May looked at me,

“I thought you didn’t have any friends. I thought she was just some girl you hardly knew?” Her voice was threatening and the underlying notion was a warning. I gritted my teeth.

“She isn’t my friend. She’s nothing. She’s just obsessed, it’s nothing.”

It came out cold and calculated even though I was saying it to keep May away from her, it felt wrong. Laura wasn’t anything, not to you. She was the furthest thing; in a way she was everything. She was the illusion of happiness, the fleeting thought of hope, and the gentle reminder to hold on to humanity.

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself? It seems you may actually care for the girl…”

If my heart were beating, it would have stopped in panic. Deflect; we have to deflect her to me.

“Please,” I rolled my eyes, face seething, “I don’t care for anyone. I could kill her so easily. That’s what you’re worried about. Not if I care, but if I lose it. If I get just a little too flustered and,” I snapped my teeth as if I was biting. May’s face twisted at the threat. And leaned over the table.

“Maybe a visit from your mother would be helpful for you to remember exactly why you’re here. What was her name? Elizabeth? No, Elle,” her eyes narrowed at me, “This is your last chance, your mother has given me authority to deal with any distractions if need be. Is the girl a distraction I need to take care of?”

         Every ounce of anger left. It was replaced with a hollow, emptiness that felt like a hole in my chest. It was the first time I heard her name since I left… and I saw the memories dance in my mind.

         _“Elle! Elle please! Please, please, please! I’m begging you wake up! God dammit Elle don’t do this! Come back, please!”_

My own voice echoed in the corners of my mind and tears gathered in my eyes. I looked up feeling Laura’s eyes on me. I hardened myself blinking my unspilled tears back. I pushed myself away from the table, and rushed out the door.

I walked home, knowing full well May was behind me. In a way I was lucky it was May because if it were my mother I would have had a black eye for the way I acted.

         I left the door open and was halfway up the stairs as tears finally let themselves free to fall.

“Carmilla.” I stopped in the middle of the stairs turning toward May her face had softened a little.

“I don’t want to be the bad guy, but I still work for her.” I felt a fire bubble in my chest and I walked so I was only a step above her. She was lying, and I wanted to see if that was true so I pushed.

“I don’t get why though. There has to be more to it for you to act like her bitch” I sneered. The victory was short lived as I let out a low growl at the pain across my face. I could feel my gums ache, fangs threatening to break free.

“I think you’ve had a rough morning Carmilla. I hope to see an improvement tomorrow morning before school or I might make good on my promise on that visit from your mother. Go.”

Despite my desire to tear this woman in two, I had a feeling I might not win that fight. May certainly wasn’t a vampire but she had something going on. Her backhand shouldn’t have hurt that bad, I turned taking two stairs at a time. Once I was out of my jeans and in my boy shorts, I went to the bathroom to clean my face. Staring at my reflection was mildly nauseating. I was paler than normal, my eyes were very dark and now the small cut and red mark on my cheek stood out. The cut was still bleeding; the ring had gotten a little too deep. The red was starting to fade into a light purple, and I sighed. Just another thing I would have to lie about. I needed to find more about my mother and May. May obviously wasn’t doing it for money, although there wasn’t a lack of it. I had to know… I had to dig and I knew whom I could ask.

 

**LAURA POV**

 

Somewhere in your thought process you determined to get the bottom of Carmilla Karnstein. You couldn’t put your finger on it but there was just something else going on, nothing ever made sense with her. It didn’t make sense how one moment she was a shy, gentle girl reading under a tree at school and the next angry and scared. After thinking and recounting the bathroom situation yesterday I realized something I hadn’t seen before. When Carmilla lashed out, she didn’t seem genuinely angry. The way her eyes were so intense, never staying on one thing too long; I realized that it was because she was afraid. Of what, I could only speculate. I wanted to know though, so I was going to ask her. If she won’t answer then I’ll use alternative methods.

         The stone of the school was cold against my back as I leaned against it, waiting for Carmilla to walk in. Students passed you, all walking toward the doors. Finally you saw her. It took me a solid minute to collect myself. Her dark jeans and black band t-shirt with some slits caught my attention. Her hair was hanging and messy, and her sunglasses covered those beautiful eyes. I took a deep breath pushing off coming up next to her. She glanced my way before sighing.

 

“What do you want?” her voice was more dejected and unattached then I had ever heard it. It sent chills up the back of my neck.

 

“I want to know what is going on with you.” I stated clearly.

 

“I told you nothing. Will you leave me alone now?”

 

The frown crept onto your face as the both of you entered into the school hallway, walking toward your lockers.

 

“There is definitely something. Maybe everyone else accepts that answer, but I don’t. I want to know and I’m asking you to tell me. I get that we only spoke like seven times, but you never acted like the way you have been and I’m worried. I guess I just considered you my friend…” I saw the corners of her lips dip into a slight frown before she hid them in a neutral expression.

 

“Well we’re not so…” She trailed, and you almost believed her. The slight quiver in her voice was enough for you to know it was a lie. But why lie?

 

“Why do you keep lying to me?” We both stopped at our lockers, Carmilla opening hers and putting everything inside. “Why can’t you admit that we’re friends?! Or at least we could be if you quit acting like a angry child!” Your voice had raised itself, frustration of wanting to understand taking over.

 

Carmilla pulled her sunglasses off tossing them in the locker, and shutting it. Her head stayed dipped for a moment before she turned to me and I let out a gasp. Her eye was surrounded by a bright purple and blue. And every inch of frustration melted.

 

“Carm…” my voice cracked. She looked at me intensely for a moment.

 

“You deserve a real friend Laura and that’s not me. Do yourself a favor and use that anger to stay away from me.” She turned to walk away but my eyes started to burn with tears.

 

“Carmilla?” she stopped half turning, “When you said you’d get in trou- is that my fault?” My voice betrayed me again breaking to hold back a sob.

 

**CARMILLA POV**

 

Her face crumbled. Laura Hollis was standing in front of her with tears in her eyes, voice shaking. You watched the mixture of emotions flow through her like a river in the summer. First anger, when you kept pushing away. Then disbelief, looking at your eye and finally, guilt. Guilt was a silent pressure that crushes people from the inside, I knew the feeling all too well.

         I knew I had a choice. I could let her blame herself; she would surely stay away from me then. Or I could risk comforting her. I really just wanted to pull her into a hug and tell her that it was my fault. I stepped towards her and grabbed her hand gently leading her into a vacant classroom. She broke down in silent cries as I shut the door. I instantly turned wrapping my arms around her. I felt her still for a moment, before easing into the hug, wrapping her arms in return. You both stayed there for a few more moments. I pulled away first, even though every fiber in my body wanted to stay close to her. In reality, I haven’t fed and was getting quite uncomfortable. May told you she was going to hold off on the blood for a few more days, as an extended punishment.

         I stood in front of her watching as tears streamed down her face. My hand moved on its own coming up and gently brushing them away. Laura’s eyes fluttered closed and she leaned into my hand. Despite the burning in my throat, I wanted to just kiss her.

 

“It wasn’t your fault, Laura.” I whispered softly. Her eyes opened, blinking to get the tears away.

 

“Carm, you need to stop hiding. I won’t hurt you.” I pulled my hand away and stepped back.

 

“I’m asking you to stay away Laura. Please. No more digging, no more looking. Just this once, quit acting like a journalist.” Her face twitched, obviously hurt. Her eyes were red from crying and honey hair slightly messy from the hug. Her chest was rising and falling softly but quickly. My eyes settled on her neck and all I could hear was pounding. Her heartbeat was so loud and the nearly nonexistent sound of her blood flowing made my stomach turn.

 

“What if I don’t want to stay away?” she questioned stepping closer, and the pounding got louder. My eyes were trained on her neck and everything else was rapidly disappearing. I was losing touch with the things around me. Laura was getting blurry and my gums began to ache. I could hear Laura mumbling something else but it was muffled, like underwater. I licked my lips nervously and my body moved by itself.


	9. Back Against the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May POV
> 
> Laura's back hits a wall
> 
> Carm gets some blood
> 
> Things are discovered and secrets uncovered
> 
> Clara gives some advice and shares some information

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm behind! I've been busy!
> 
> After this chapter someone will be editing so you only have to deal with crappy grammar one more chapter!
> 
> I'm also contemplating getting one or two peoples to beta chapters ahead of time to make sure I keep up some quality work, include in a comment if you'd like to be considered or interested! 
> 
> Love you cream puffs

**MAY POV**

 

“How is my glittering girl?” the voice was cold, empty, and I knew she didn’t really care.

 

“She’s finding distance from people to be difficult…” I trailed.

 

Lilita was a friend from a long, long time ago. I was a young naive witch in a small town, who just wanted to be apart of something bigger, and when she offered that chance… I couldn’t refuse. My life became helping her here and there and in return I was taken care of. I was raised in the town’s orphanage, with little to no food, and never had a family, being taken care of seemed like a good deal.

 

“Anyone in particular?” I could see her corked eyebrow in my mind, just like Carmilla’s did when she was curious. _That poor child_ , I thought.

 

Lilita sensed my hesitation, “May?” It was more threatening than anything. Her leverage on me was far too great, but could I really put Adeline’s child in danger? Lilita was responsible for one Hollis’ death, how could I aid her in another?

 

“Do I need to remind you that I have someone who would much rather see her mom again, then die a painful death by my hands?” A shout was heard on the end of the phone line and a screech. “Get the hell away from me you over grown, ugly motherfu-” A thump was heard, and my eyes stung.

 

“So I’ll ask again, is there anyone specific Carmilla is befriending?”

 

“Hollis. Laura Eileen Hollis.” You hated yourself for allowing it to leave your mouth but if it was your own daughter or Laura you knew whom you’d pick.

         Everyone thought that Nora was just off enjoying the college experience in New York City, but when Carmilla moved in with you, Nora was put under Lilita’s watch. No one really questioned it and you were ordered to keep quiet on the subject of Carmilla’s stay. Truth was I didn’t really know why Carmilla was here. I knew something serious had happened, and instead of dealing with her, Lilita sent her to me. Carmilla hadn’t given anything up and Lilita told me I didn’t need to know.

 

“Hollis? Adeline’s daughter? Why doesn’t that surprise me? If she’s anything like her mother she’ll be a pain even as six year old she was troublesome.”

 

“Carmilla has been lying about her; saying they aren’t friends. I thought to test it by holding out on blood for a little while longer. If they are close Carmilla might bite her and it will back Carmilla off completely, then I can take care of Laura’s memory with some help.” I shifted in the kitchen chair, uncomfortable.

 

“Acceptable. If she proves to be a problem and the friendship continues, call. I’ll have someone down there in a day and we’ll deal with it.”

 

The way she was trying to keep Carmilla so separated was upsetting. I could see the toll it takes on the girl, she tries to act disaffected but she wants someone to understand her. 

 

“Lilita? Why can’t Carmilla have friends? What angle are you playing here?” she sighed on the other end of the line.

 

“May, I thought you figured out a long time ago not to question me. If it’ll make you feel better though let’s just say I have an investment down there that I want Carmilla to control and she can’t do that if she is clinging to her humanity. I thought with Ell’s death she would finally let go of people and just do as she’s told. She just needs a good push. What’s one more dead girl?” The phone line went dead.

 

**LAURA POV**

My back slammed against the wall, not enough to hurt, but I did wince. Carmilla’s hands were on either side of my head and her lips were ghosting over the skin of my neck. My chest was rising and falling and Carmilla let out a deep breath.

“Carm,” I managed in straggled, lusty voice. I brought my hand under her chin trying to have her meet my eyes and put her lips against mine. She pushed away, turning her back to me. Her body was coiled, like at the diner. Her shoulders were tense and her head was low. She let out the only thing that could be considered a growl as she shoved one of the desks hard.

 

I took a step forward, “Don’t.”

“Carm what’s going on?” I asked carefully.

 

I was worried. I couldn’t fully understand why. I didn’t really know _that_ much about her. Sure she’s sexy and mysterious but she’s also scared and hurt. She had a past that I could only imagine and intentions that were more than questionable. But I cared non the less. I was drawn to her. The way she carried herself, the way she spoke about things she cared about, the small smiles that she would try and hide, the blush that crept across her face every now and again, everything about her drew me in. There was something different. Something that this small town had never offered. She was a good, loving person but she didn't need anyone to know. It was just different, and I wanted to understand. 

 

“Laura, I need you to leave,” She waited for a moment and added, “Please.”

 

“Carmilla, please. I want to help.” She sniffled and kept her back toward me.

 

“You’re only helping if you leave. I promise I’ll find you later just go.”

I realized that she wasn’t just asking but she was begging. Carmilla, the badass, leather pants wearing, girl was _begging_ me to leave her alone but it wasn’t in a way that meant to be painful. It felt like from a place of protection, from what I didn’t know.

 

“Okay,” I started slowly, “I’ll go but Carmilla I want to be clear. I want to help, and I want you to kiss me.” I made sure to speak clearly and moved toward the door.

 

“You promise you’ll find me later?” I asked, just to make sure.

It was embarrassing how much I just wanted to be near her. She was like a drug that I couldn’t get enough of. I was never satisfied with just a little bit of her, she was perfect and gentle and I wanted to be someone for her. I wanted to be hers. The person she called when she was lonely, the person whose hand she grabbed when she got nervous, and the person who she can fall asleep next to knowing she’s safe.

 

“I promise Laura.” She answered softly; I nodded slowly and exited the room letting the door shut quietly behind me.

 

**CARMILLA POV**

 

I heard the door shut and let out another breath just to ground myself. That was too close, next time I wouldn’t be so lucky. Why was this so hard? I had never had a problem staying away from people; I hated most of them. I found them annoying and childish but not Laura. Sure, she acted like a child sometimes, but I found it endearing. I cared for her in a way that I hadn’t experienced. The way her eyes light up, the small shy smiles she gives me, and the way she bites her bottom lip when she thinks I’m not paying attention. I loved listening to her talk. She never expected me to answer and she wouldn’t push. She would just sit next to me under my tree and talk about anything she wanted. Her voice was like honey; it melted me like putty in her hands. I dreamed of a day where I would fall asleep to her voice. I leaned my hands against the desk in front of me. She was overwhelming, a storm that swallowed me whole. When she was in front of me I couldn’t control anything but in my mind, she’s an anchor.

I turned and walked out into the empty hallway. My throat was burning and my chest was still tight. Honestly, I felt a little dizzy just from exerting so much energy to restrain myself. I looked at the side door and decided to go home. May was probably still at work and I bet, being this desperate I could probably sniff the blood bags out at this point. I wasn’t proud that I was that animalistic but when you’re starving what are you going to do?

The walk home only took about 15 minutes, and I pulled my key out of my pocket, letting myself in. I listened for a moment just to be sure about the house being empty before taking a deep whiff. The smell of iron was faint but present. I walked toward the kitchen breathing in again, the smell being stronger. I did this for a few more minutes before realizing the scent was coming from a part of the wall, behind a half shelf filled with old cook books. I pushed the shelf aside and leaned closer to the wall. It still seemed solid before I gave it a solid push and it swung open revealing a small room a little bigger than a closet, with a single shelf with blood bags standing on it.

In the corner of the room there was a file box, missing a lid and papers sticking out. I grabbed a blood bag, opening it while stepping closer to the files. I pulled out a single paper and looked over it. It was a case file on a suspected homicide but nothing was ever proved. The name at the top where the victim’s name belonged caught my eye. Adeline Hollis. Hollis. Laura.

Laura’s mom was murdered? Why would May have a case file? I pulled my phone out of my back pocket; it was only 9:34am. May wouldn’t be home for at least another three hours. I sat down next to the file box, taking another sip from the bag. I began to look through the papers; there was more than just one unsolved homicide in this box. There was a folder labeled: “Adeline Hollis Crime Scene Photos”. I opened the folder carefully, what I saw made my heartache and a sour taste in my mouth. The first thing that caught my attention was the police uniform she was wearing. The navy blue uniform was stained with red, most of it on her chest. You couldn’t tell where it was originating. I flipped through the rest of the pictures stopping at the autopsy photo. It looked like an animal had torn into her chest. I closed the folder and finished the blood bag.

I took to the next folder, which was a lot smaller. The case report had Laura’s name on it. Two photos slipped out upon opening it and I lifted them carefully. The first one was a picture of Laura; she looked about 6 years old, sitting in an ambulance. An older man, in uniform was sitting next to her with an arm around her holding a blanket over her small body. His face was hidden in one hand and it looked like he had been crying. Another small pain in my chest; this man must be her father.

The next photo was of a bite mark on Laura’s side. It hardly looked like one because of the brutality of the bite. I put the photo to the side, it making my stomach turn. My eyes skimmed the case report, looking for an explanation that a child, Laura, was subjected to something that horrible.

_Laura Hollis, daughter of Chief and Officer Hollis, was walking home with her mother when an unknown attacker ambushed the two. Laura Hollis was knocked unconscious after being thrown to the ground by the attacker. The attacker then used unknown methods to kill Officer Adeline Hollis. A bite mark was found on the right ribs of the child. The suspicion is whoever/whatever killed Adeline Hollis had intentions of eliminating witnesses (Laura Hollis) but their actions were thwarted by an unknown source. The child received medical attention and the mother was pronounced dead at the scene. No evidence was found._

I closed the folder and put them back in the box like I found them. I picked up the blood bag and left the room. I moved the bookshelf back to its original space just as the front door opened. I glanced at the clock quickly, 11:43am. It had to be May. I shoved the bag into my sweatshirt pocket, and forced myself to change. I could hide a lot easier if I was smaller.

I crossed the kitchen, black paws carrying me. I jumped up into a seat at the table, which was pushed in. May walked in, holding grocery bags and sat them on top of the table. She exited and I heard her go out the front door, probably to get more bags. I landed quietly, and sprinted up the stairs into my room and out the window.

I walked into a small ally near the bookstore before changing back and removing the blood bag that had left some blood on my hoodie. That was one cool thing about shifting, anything on my person somehow stayed with me.

The door dinged as I walked in and Clara looked up from the front desk, with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” I rolled my eyes, not in the mood for integration.

“What happened to Adeline Hollis and why does May have a copy of the case in a hidden room?” Clara looked a little taken aback, before a grin spread across her face.

 

“You’re smarter than I give you credit for Carmilla,” she got up from behind the counter, walking over to a chair and sitting down, “Adeline Hollis that was about 12 years ago, in November. A sad night,” I moved towards her sitting across from her.

 

“Tell me what happened Clara,” I pushed.

 

She sighed, “It wasn’t pretty. The entire town grieved for her, and Laura, her little soul. She was heartbroken,” Even the thought of Laura being upset made me grimace, she deserved the best. Clara continued, “I was in the book store like any other week. Laura and Adeline had stopped in to pick up a new bed time story, one that had a strong female lead with a sword, per Laura’s request,” she laughed lightly, “They left waving goodbye and the next thing I know I hear the sirens. I’m pretty sure every cop on the payroll was at the scene, and then they were scouring the town for anything that could help. I talked to Mr. Hollis myself; I insisted that he check for people visiting. I had seen a strange lady around, talking to May in the diner. I heard that they were old friends and she wasn’t a suspect any longer. But I knew. I knew it was her. She had this aura that just sucked the life out of the room. She had something about her, something that wasn’t human,” her voice had dropped lower and she leaned toward me. “You and I both know that you and her share only one thing,” If I had a heartbeat, it would be beating all too fast. How could she possibly know?

 

“You two are the same species,” she stated, leaning back.

 

“I didn’t have anything to do with her death,” I defended.

 

“I know you didn’t Carmilla, I don’t think you want to hurt anybody. I’ve been in this town a long time. Seen and heard a lot of things, and if there is one thing I’m good at it’s judging character,”

            For some reason that didn’t ease my mind. Clara knowing about me was dangerous information, some that a lot of people would kill for. I didn’t want her judging my character; the more people knew I wasn’t always an asshole the more people get put in the crossfire. I had lost enough to know that.

 

“Just because I didn’t kill her doesn’t mean I haven’t killed other people Clara. Make no mistake, I’m a lot more like my mother than you prefer to believe.” I hated myself for saying it but if it made Clara more careful then I was okay with it.

 

“You need to tell Laura,” I laughed coldly.

 

“Tell her what? That her mother is dead and my mother probably did it but I have no proof. Oh! And the lady I’m living with is under her thumb and can KILL me, and the fact that I’m a…”I cut myself off. I always hated admitting what I was. I hated that it was synonymous with monster; even if it was true I still hated it.

 

“You love the girl, and she loves you don’t you think she is going to find out regardless?”

 

“No one said anything about love. And she isn’t going to find out anything because we aren’t anything. I refuse to drag her into this life the last time it happened, ended in someone dying, I won’t steal her life from her. No one is that heartless, not even me.” Clara smiled sadly at me.

 

“Carmilla, you hate being by yourself. You would never admit it and I know that but you do. You care and want to protect her so much that you are willing to remain alone simply because it will keep her safe. And that is so sweet but it is also the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard come out of that brilliant mind of yours.” My mouth hung open, eyes wide. “Love is about risks Carmilla and you need to start taking some. You are not a victim to your past.” My eyes watered a little, and I rubbed at them quickly with my sleeve.

Could I really leave it behind? I wanted Laura, I did. I wanted to protect her, care for her, be the one to get her hot chocolate, and wait by her locker. I wanted to make her laugh, and take her on a date. Having Laura means endangering her, could I risk her life for my happiness? I pulled out my phone, ignoring Clara’s growing smile.

 

**To Cupcake: Meet me tonight. Bookstore. 9pm.**

“Can I lock up the store tonight?” I asked looking at Clara. Her only response was tossing me a key.


	10. Vampires, and Bookstore Counter Tops?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally talk... some other stuff happens too :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun but also hard to write! I'm sorry it took so long but I wanted to do it right! Hopefully the next few chapters come out a lot faster! ALSO HUUUUUGGGGEEE shout out to Shelby, my beta reader, and Kat, my editor! It's so much nicer to be able to bounce ideas off people and help make my work the best it can be! They're both awesome and so is this fic! Okay enough of my babbling! ENJOY YOURSELF SOME HOLLSTEIN <\- whoops guess this is a lil spoiler ;)
> 
> Sidenote: sorry if there's a few mistakes grammar wise towards the end haha I got really excited and wanted to get it posted so I edited the bottom portion on my own(bear with it lol)

**LAURA POV**

I had just closed the door behind me when I felt the buzz in my pocket. I walked toward the kitchen on my left while looking at my phone.

**From Carm: Meet me tonight. Bookstore. 9pm.**

I smiled and looked up when someone clears their throat; the smile immediately dropping. I felt a nervous feeling bubble in my chest.

“May…uh hi,” I said, trying to keep my voice even.

Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun and she sat comfortably at the kitchen table. She looked unhappy but there was a sadness radiating off her.

“Laura, I’m sorry to intrude. Your father let me in before heading off to work, I hope you don’t mind, sweetheart.” I moved toward the table, taking a seat. Her pleasantry was dripping with southern threats.

“No, not at all. How can I help you?” I shifted taking my backpack off and sitting it against the table leg.

My mind wandered back to that day at the diner. I had sat there and watch her scold Carmilla. I watched Carmilla crumble under her words. I reminded myself, this woman _ hit _ Carm. Anger replaced my fear; she hurt Carmilla. I narrowed my eyes as May studied me carefully, her icey blue eyes blank. 

“Have you seen Carmilla today?” She asked simply, her expression bored.

“So what if I have?” I countered, my voice sharp.

“I would say that’s interesting. You’re in one piece so if you did see her she’s probably not feeling too well. Regardless, I need you to stay away from her, dear.” I stood walking over to the counter putting on a pot of coffee.

“Why’s that?” I scooped the coffee grounds in, turning the coffee maker on and returned to my seat.

“Look Laura, I love Carmilla. I do but she’s no good for you,” May stated. I felt my hands ball into fists, my knuckles probably going white. Memories of shy glances, and coy smiles played in my head. She wasn’t perfect but she was everything I wanted.

 

“Her last girlfriend, Elle… she listened, and stayed away. She still ended up dead.” She said matter of factly.

 

“Why tell me now? Carm’s been here for over a month,”I stated.

 

May rolled her eyes, “Yes and I thought that if I could just control her then she would listen. Since she failed to follow rules we have to step out of the box and urge you to stay away for your own good.”

 

I had a split moment that believed maybe staying away was a good idea. The simple thought of those chestnut eyes had me dismissing the thought as guilt washed over me.  _ How could I think that? It’s Carm. _ She was sweet and loving, granted she could be a broody asshole but that’s how she protected herself. She would build walls and barriers around her heart, but the small moments when they would break down, even if only for a second, made everything worth it. May was trying to get to me. Even if it was true about Carmilla’s ex being dead, I couldn’t imagine a way it was her fault. I believed she never wanted to hurt anyone. Of course she threatened to break people’s arms and punch them in the face but after hearing her sing, listening to her talk, watching her smile and try to hide it; I knew she couldn’t hurt people she loved. But she would hurt someone to defend them...

“It’s time for you to get out of my house,” I replied. Her eyes narrowed and I ignored the chill on the back of my neck.

“I fear you’re not understanding me, Laura. I’m giving you an out here. You don’t belong in her world. You’re a small town nobody. She comes from a more… controversial place where you don’t fit,” she stood, leering over me, “How can you be what she wants? She is the dark beauty of the world, and you’re just a little bubble of sunshine that she is fascinated with. Make no mistake, she will get tired of you and throw you away. She’ll take everything from you and leave you with nothing. So I’ll ask you, what does that tell you?” She hissed lowly.

 

I stood, almost nose-to-nose with her, body tense.

“Your hearing must be going so I’ll reiterate. It tells me that it’s time for you to get the  _ hell  _ out of my house,” I repeated, lowering my voice.

 

She let out a low laugh and moved away from me towards the door, “You’re making a mistake Laura,” She opened the door, turning to me.

 

“I don’t think so,” I said, and she left closing the door loudly behind her. I slumped back into my chair letting out a deep breath.

 

What is it with May? She has never acted like this. I remember her when I was a kid she was sweet. Her daughter Nora used to be my babysitter before she went to college for Hufflepuff’s sake. In a small town like this, everyone knows everyone. I thought I knew her but the longer Carmilla is here the less I think I know anything. I pulled out my phone texting Carmilla. I would give her a chance to explain but my thoughts traveled back to something my professor had said in class, “Never get all your information from one source.” Despite how tonight went with Carm I knew that I knew that I had to figure it out for myself. 

**To Carm: Can we make it 7?**

There was a few moments before my phone screen lit up.

**From Carm: Yeah. Is everything okay?**

**To Carm: I’m not sure; May was in my house when I got home. She had a lot to say about you…**

I worried how she would respond, but May had said a lot of things that didn’t make sense and it left an uneasy feeling in my chest.  I just wanted to understand. I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. I needed Carmilla to tell me the truth, the whole truth. No more guessing, no more dodging; everything.

**From Carm: I don’t know what she told you but please just let me tell you my side tonight and then you can decide what to do with the information.**

**To Carm: Okay**

**_________________________**

**CARMILLA POV**

Clara left the bookstore at 6:30 and I had been running around the store categorizing different books trying to keep my mind in check. Laura would be here any minute and the more I thought about how to talk to her the more pacing I did. 

 

I’m nervous. I’m Carmilla Karnstein, I don’t get nervous.  _ What if she hates me? She’s probably going to hate me.  _ I paced more walking from the counter to the seating area and back again. My mind spun over everything that could happen, every possible outcome, every question she could ever ask, and my anxiety grew. 

 

“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor with all that pacing,” I stopped mid pace turning to the door, where Laura stood in all her beauty.

 

Her brunette hair was hanging below her shoulders, her blouse tucked into her jeans that were entirely too tight for my sanity. She gave me a small, yet shy smile and spoke again,

 

“Hey.” It was simple yet it still made my heart swoon just a little too much for my liking. She shifted, uncomfortable from being under my gaze.

 

“Hey,” my voice came out low and even despite how nervous I was.

 

I motioned towards the couch in the reading area and she nodded absently. She sat next to me, leaving little space between us. 

 

“I should apologize for earlier Laura…” She began shaking her head and cut me off.

 

“You have nothing to apologize for Carm, I was just worried. I thought I did something wrong.” She turned a little facing me more; I could see the concern in her eyes. Those honey eyes that I got lost in so easily. I dropped my gaze to my hands.

 

“What did May tell you?” I questioned softly. Laura shifted again, her face scrunching clearly disliking the thought of it.

 

“She, She said that you’re no good for me. That if I was smart I should stay away, and she implied Elle died because of you…” I could feel her watching me, waiting for some kind of reaction. I had winced, hearing Laura say Elle’s name. It cracked something deep in my chest.

 

“It was this past summer, June… I was supposed to start school there this past September. I was living there because my mother had some business deals to take care of. I met Elle at the park,” I smiled sadly at the memory, “It was entirely too early, but I went for a run. I hadn’t been paying attention and basically collided with her. One thing led to another and we started dating. It didn’t last long Mother found out and forbade me to see her, she said it was a distraction. Me and Elle kept meeting in secret until my mother caught her in the house. She acted relaxed and asked Elle to leave… as soon as the door closed- well it wasn’t pretty. There was an accident,” my voice cracked, “It was my fault and Elle, she died.” I shifted a little further from Laura. It wasn’t the whole truth but how could I be honest with her? She would hate me. I kept my eyes away from hers, looking my hands and twisting my simple, dented ring in apprehension. 

 

“I won’t ask you to tell me details Carm, but you have to know it wasn’t your fault. You’re good and kind. You couldn’t do something like that, or have anything to do with it,” she spoke softly and I let out a dry laugh. 

 

Anger and frustration with myself bubbled in my chest. How could Laura be so loving? I don’t deserve this; I don’t deserve her. My mind flashed back to my walk home that late one night, reminding myself of what I had to do. If I really cared about her I would keep her far away. This has gone on long enough, I’ve been selfish with her and that isn’t fair. She deserves to live her life without someone like me.

 

“Laura I’m not who you think I am. I’m not good. I’m not kind,” I finally met her eyes and pushed myself to continue, “I’m- I’m a vampire,” I finished. She looked at me a moment longer before letting out  dry hollow laugh. Her face scrunched up in distaste and she spoke bitterly.

 

“Are you seriously joking right now? I can’t believe you pick  _ now _ of all times to make a joke. Carmilla this isn’t something to mess around about. Your ex girlfriend is  _ dead.  _ May was sitting in  _ my _ house, essentially threatening me, you told me you would tell your side and you make a sick joke about it?” She stood up walking toward the counter and I stood following.

 

“I’m not joking Laura,” I reached for her hand for her to face me and she ripped it away from me, “Just think about it you’re more observant than you give yourself credit for. The diner? The bathroom? My eyes? The classroom? I hadn’t-”  _ fed.  _ The silence hung for a moment before I finished just above a whisper, “I needed you to leave because I didn’t want you to get hurt,” I said desperately my eyes stinging with unshed tears that I cursed myself for. She turned to me, meeting my eyes.

 

“Prove it.” I looked at her with horror. Those two words landing on my shoulders like the weight of the world. She wanted to see? No one human had ever seen and lived. I couldn’t handle the shame of knowing that someone had seen my face like that. The dark soulless eyes, the small cracks in my skin beneath them, especially not the teeth. The teeth of a monster; a murderer.

“Carm, if you’re telling the truth...I’m asking you to prove it,” she said. 

 

I lowered my head for a moment thinking. I hated nothing more in the world than this part of myself. I took a grounding breath, trying to usher the courage to meet her eyes. 

“I can’t believe you,” Laura hissed turning toward the door.

 

**LAURA POV**

 

My hand ghosted over the cold door knob before Carmilla’s broken voice stopped me in my place.

“Laura.” I turned slowly.

 

Her head was still slightly lowered, dark curls framing her face. Carm raised her head and her eyes were avoiding mine. Two sharp teeth were protruding from her canine teeth. I stood there a moment longer, silence hanging between us.  _ She wasn’t lying. _ I couldn’t stop my body from moving forward standing in front of her taking her in. I wasn’t scared, I was fascinated. Her eyes still looked off over my shoulder, refusing to look at me. Her normal chestnut brown, were almost black. There was small cracks below her eyes, that were slightly darkened. She had relaxed her jaw best she could allowing me to see her fangs.  _ Fangs. She has fangs. Hollis you should be running for your life.  _ A part of me knew I was safe though. I was more upset with the fact that I had pushed her so hard than the fact she wasn’t human. I had yelled at her, and looking at her right now was breaking my heart. Her calm demeanor had changed into shy and nervous. Her confident smirk was long gone, her top lip now quivering. Carm’s shoulder’s were slumped in defeat. She was obviously extremely uncomfortable, but she was doing it for me. 

 

My hand twitched, wanting to comfort her. She lowered her head again, and her skin went back to pale and smooth. She closed her mouth assuming her teeth had gone back to normal. 

 

“You don’t have to be my friend if you don’t want to but please don’t tell anyone. It’s not safe for you,” her voice was quiet and somber. 

 

My hand moved slowly, but purposefully. I was scared to move to fast, fearing she would retreat away from me. I brought it under her chin lifting her face even with mine as I tried to do in the classroom. She was still looking at anything but me. 

 

“Look at me,” my voice was soft but commanding. 

 

Carm’s eyes flickered around, finally landing on mine. They were searching, looking for my fear. My anger and I saw her confusion when she found none. I lifted my hand to cup the side of her face, her eyes fluttering closed. I liked this side of Carmilla. The vulnerable side, the one with no guard, the side that leaned into me. 

 

I pushed myself forward connecting our lips. It was soft and sweet. I had never imagined kissing Carmilla would feel like this. That I would feel this alive. I felt Carmilla slide her hands behind my neck pulling me closer, then pulling back. My eyebrows furrowed as our lips pulled apart and her eyes stayed closed.

  
“Laura we need to talk more. About the vampire thing, not the us thing.” I rolled my eyes playfully.

 

“We don’t need to talk about it right now though,” I said leaning in again.

 

The kiss was hungrier. It was laced with need and desire. It was everything we had felt for the past month. The built up tension. The glances, the smiles, the conversations and flirting. It was the softness of her voice as I blush and the beauty of her laugh as I ramble. It said everything both of us were too scared to say out loud. 

 

I felt Carmilla finally snap out of her daze as she walked me backwards until my butt hit the counter. Her hands replaced themselves to my side, sliding down to grip me from the thighs and lift me onto the counter, our lips breaking. Before I knew what she was doing I felt her lips connect with my jaw a small moan escaping my lips. Her kisses peppered my neck, some soft and sweet, others harsh and chast. My hands played with the hem of her shirt until she pulled away nodding and I pulled it over her head. My eyes going to her chest where a black bralette was leaving just enough for imagination. Carmilla lifted me again carrying me to the couch. Carm settled on top of me, kissing me roughly. Despite the small room of the couch, I flipped us and Carm’s shocked expression was worth it.

 

“It’s cute you thought I was a bottom, cutie,” I said lowly, smirking. Her eyes darkened like they had in the bathroom, a few of the cracks returning under them. My smirk faltered a little.

 

“Are you okay?” I asked softly and she smiled, her eyes lightening a little. 

 

“I’m fine cupcake, I can control myself. You on top of me like this just makes it a little harder. Now come back,” she said pulling me in again. The kisses were rough and fast. I moved my lips down to her neck, her letting out a small gasp. She took a breath as I kissed gently up to her ear.

 

“You don’t have to be quiet for me, Carm.” I nipped just below her ear before a soft growl rumbled low in her chest, making me smile against her skin. I kissed over her pulse point, or where it would have been biting down and sucking harshly, eliciting a breathy version of my name falling from her lips. I got to her collar bone performing the same act as before. I moved lower, skipping her clothed chest in total, placing small kisses on her stomach before I felt Carm’s hands pushing me back into a sitting position. She pulled her legs to her chest, covering her face with her hands. 

 

“Carm what’s wrong?” I asked, my chest heaving.

 

“I’m sorry. I thought I could control myself but I just- I lost my grip for a second,” she said into her hands. I scooted a little closer, gently pulling her hands away. She turned her head away from me. I reached over turning her face towards me.

 

“Don’t hide from me,” I whispered, tucking some hair behind her ear. I watched her eyes flicker from chestnut, to near black, and back. They continued to changed like that and I could see her jaw clenching hard. I felt a pang of guilt in my chest.

 

“Does it hurt? Trying to control it?” I asked, carefully pulling my hand back.

 

“Sometimes, I’ll be fine. I’ve had worse than this,” She answered, giving me a weak smile.

 

“Carm, I’m sorry. I should have-” Carmilla shook her head and covered my hand with her own.

 

“Please don’t apologize this is one of the best scenarios that could have happened. I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me,” she replied.

 

“Impossible. I want everything to do with you.” I stood to pick Carm’s shirt up off the ground, handing it to her.

 

Before she slipped the shirt over head, I caught a few dark patches that had made my cheeks hot. In the middle of her neck though was a  _ very  _ dark purple mark that made my blush spread. I felt a swell of pride looking at her. Her clothes were disheveled, darkk curls a mess, lips swollen with prominent hickeys poking over the collar of her shirt. I did that. I made Carmilla freaking Karnstein a moaning,  _ growling _ mess and I had hardly touched her.

 

“Hey Laur?” I looked up meeting her now settled eyes snapping out of my daze. Carm looked nervous again but a little more at ease.

“We have more to talk about,” I looked at her confused, “it’s about your mom.”


	11. Milkshakes and Gingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a fluffy little part before shit hits the fan. Enjoy peace while you can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I SUCK. Sorry I know a looonngg time coming. HOWEVER, it has arrived. I am alive and will be back to updating regularly (fingers crossed).
> 
> ALSO I've been working on a lil plane crash au that no one asked for so stay tuned for that!

**CARMILLA POV**

Laura’s face fell and my heart plummeted. The girl standing in front of me wasn’t the girl from a moment ago. Her clothes were still messy and a little out of place, while her hair was now tucked behind her ears making her look like a child. 

“My mom?”Her voice broke at the end and it felt like a knife to my chest. I immediately felt the weight of her attention, knowing if I didn’t articulate this right I could likely be slapped. 

“I- yeah. I went home today after the classroom. I found this room that was hidden,” Laura’s eyes flickered up to mine curious, “I found this box of case files… it was your mom’s file Laura…” I trailed not knowing if she would want me to continue.

Her face twisted into anger. This was only the second time I had seen her like that, the first being when she was going toe to toe with Danny. However, this was the first time her anger was directed at me. I tried to ignore the ache in my chest, Laura had been the one person I was close with that had never been angry at me. 

 

“And you  _ read  _ it?! You didn’t think that was crossing a line somewhere?!” she hissed at me, her eyes brimming with tears. 

 

_ Shit. Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry Karnstein.  _ I was losing that battle and opted to lower my head in defeat. I had crossed a line. I had thought about not doing it, but I just did it anyway. 

 

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. She let out a laugh.

 

“Sorry? Sorry that you read about my murdered mother instead of asking? I would say that your sorry doesn’t exactly suffice right now, Carmilla,” she was quiet for a moment, taking a deep breath, “Did you read my file too?” 

 

“Yeah I did. I should have asked,” I answered in a hushed tone. 

 

“You’re damn right you should have.” She took another deep breath, “ I’m not pissed because you read it. I’m pissed because that’s a part of my past, one that I wanted to share with you when  _ I  _ was ready. It’s not fair that you get to remain unaffected and mysterious while you can just read about my life in a police file.” I watched her walk back over to the counter, hopping up to sit on it… to sit as far away from me as she could. 

 

“I don’t remember much about what happened…” Laura started with her head lowered, “We were walking home from the bookstore and we had just taken the alley between the cafe and the barber shop at the end of the street.” Her voice cracked a little, and I could see some tears rolling down her cheeks. 

 

She smiled sadly, “I asked to take it. It was our ‘secret shortcut’. I remember someone grabbing my hair, and my head hurting a lot. The doctor said I had been shoved and hit my head when I fell. Everything is fuzzy after that, I remember something growling over me and feeling a pain in my ribs. I blacked out again after that and when I woke up people were shouting and I could hear the sirens,” she finished.

 

“And that’s all you remember?” Laura nodded, wiping a few stray tears.

 

“Laura, I saw the pictures… I think it was a vampire that killed your mom.” This was the second time tonight that I only gave Laura half the truth but how could I tell her I suspected my mother was involved with nothing to back it up?

 

“Gee thanks Carmilla, drudge up the most tragic day of my life just to tell me that? Awesome,” she muttered as she fiddled with her hands.

 

“I think something is going on in this town Laura. Why would a vampire be here?” I tried again.

 

“Maybe he was on vacation,” she mocked and I rolled my eyes.

 

“No he wasn’t. I don’t even know why I’m here. My mother could have dealt with my Elle digression in a lot more direct manners but instead sent me to the middle of nowhere to live with an old cooky lady who has a hidden room with blood and monstrous case files. I think its connected and May is involved. You’re an investigative journalism major right? You can help.” I finally stood getting a little closer with pleading eyes. She was quiet for a moment.

 

“I’ll help,” she hopped off the counter, “but I’m still mad at you.” I stood still and hung my head a little. I couldn’t help the aching in my chest. Why did she have such an effect on me?

 

“I know.” We left the shop together and I locked the door when I heard a familiar voice. 

 

“Laura, Carmilla, hey.” I turned seeing Lafontaine and Perry walking towards us. Laura smiled brightly hugging, and greeting the ginger twins completely allowing a mask to hide the hurt that I had just drug up.  I let my face slip into a neutral expression letting out a pleasantry. 

 

“We we’re on our way to the diner, wanna come?” Before I could say no, Laura’s voice filled the air.

 

“We would love to,” Laf smiled and they started walking toward the diner, I stood still for a second, confused. Laf and Perry walked a little ahead of Laura, and I jogged up from behind leaning into Laura’s ear,

 

“I thought you were mad at me?” I questioned softly. She looked at me and shrugged, 

“Then fix it,” she answered with a small smile.  It made some of the ache go away. 

It was strange, being given a chance to correct something. I was never taught to fix things, just be punished for what I broke. But this was Laura Hollis, and I knew full well she was different from anything I’d ever known.

 

We walked across the street toward the diner as I felt Laura’s hand brush mine. I glanced at her and the smile pulling at her lips suggested it wasn’t an accident. Moments later I was sliding into a booth next to Laura as the waitress took our drink order before disappearing. 

I looked over the menu grimacing. Although I could eat human food, I rarely enjoyed it. It tastes bland to me. 

 

“Karnstein, how’s your first month in Silas, North Carolina?” Laf asked. My eyes flickered to Laura over my menu, who was giving me a play nice look. I looked back at them from across the table.

 

“It’s nice, most of the time, boring though,” I answered, putting some pleasantry in my voice as I side-eyed Laura who smirked. 

 

There was something attractive about how she knew she had control over me. Normally, it would bother me. I always like to be in control of situations and when I’m not I panic but Laura having control was different. Different than mother or anything else. Laura’s control was different because I gave it to her. Somewhere along the line I gave it up. I realized she didn’t take it or force me, I gave it to her freely. 

 

“And where’d you live before Silas?” Perry added, next to Laf. My mouth got a little dry and suddenly the menu became a lot more interesting.

 

“All over, New York, L.A., Seattle, I was in France for a little while too” I said. The waitress came back with our drinks and took our orders. 

 

“That’s because your mother has a global business in technology, right?” Laf’s question was pointed and knowing. I glared at them, but softened my gaze when I felt Laura’s eyes on me. 

 

“Yes,” I replied simply, “but obviously her work took up majority of her time and doesn’t involve me so you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t want to discuss my mother.”

 

Laf’s face relaxed a little before muttering an apology. Perry turned to them asking a question about school and launching into their own conversation. I took a large sip of my water as the waitress set down our food, mine being fries and a milkshake. The ginger’s continued talking as Laura leaned closer to me.

 

“You aren’t hungry?” I smiled a little. 

 

“Not exactly my kinda food cutie,” I said lowly. Laura caught the double innuendo and her cheeks flared.

 

“I’m ignoring that,” she stated simply, turning back to her burger and french fries.

 

“That’s not what I meant,” I rolled my eyes playfully, “Get your mind out of the gutter, Hollis.” I finished. 

 

The rest of the conversation flowed easily, mostly because it didn’t involve me. I sat quietly, picking at my fires but hardly eating them. I had fed earlier in the day which made the human food even less appetizing. I watched Laf interact and my mind started turning on its own. 

 

How did they know about my mother?  _ Their a science nerd and your mother is involved in sciency things don’t you think that they would know? _ Although it seemed like it made sense it made me wary. 

 

My attention turned to Laura as her fingers snapped in front of my face. 

 

“Carm! Are you even listening?” She said, pouting. A light smile twitched at my lips.

 

“Yes cupcake of course I was. But for the sake of making sure I heard you right can you repeat?” I smirked as she rolled her eyes. 

 

“Kirsch is throwing a party next Saturday, you’ve seen him around school. You’re gonna come right?” My mind flashed back to the beefcake knocking me over my first day in town. Didn’t seem like the type I wanted to be around. 

 

“Eh I don’t think so cupcake. May probably wouldn’t let me and I’d rather read then be surrounded by drunk hormonal teenage boys,” I said furrowing my eyebrows at the thought. 

 

Laf mumbled something that caused me to look up and Perry to gently slap their arm. 

 

“Care to repeat?”

 

“I said, You talk about them being hormonal teenagers when your the one with hickeys on your neck” Laf said with a shit-eating grin.

 

I saw Laura dip her head, probably to hide a furious blush of embarrassment.

 

“Shut your face ginger,” I mumbled picking at my fries, trying to ignore the blossom in my stomach. 

 

After we left the diner and parted ways, Laura and I stood there for a moment watching the two gingers walk toward the opposite end of town. 

 

“Ginger 1 is mildly amusing, as well as annoying,” I stated with an eyebrow raised. Laura turned to me with a light smile.

 

“They were right. You do have quite a few hickeys,” She laughed then stopped, her face shifting into horror, “Oh God you have hickeys. May is going to know! Carm what are we supposed to do about that?”

 

I let out a low laugh. 

  
“Although tonight’s events have made me question who the vampire is in this situation… I heal pretty quickly cupcake. I’ll will myself to heal up on the way home, I just liked having them knowing you put them there.” 

 

Her mouth fell open, “So you could have gotten rid of them the whole time?!” She smacked my arm, “Yet you chose to allow me embrace the embarrassment of my friends knowing we made out on a bookstore counter?!” 

 

“Well, I don’t think they knew where it happened…” I trailed, teasingly.

 

She rolled her eyes, “You’re the worst,” she said, beginning to walk across the street and I followed absently.

 

We walked a few minutes before I spoke up.

 

“I’m sorry for the way I handled everything tonight. I know it wasn’t the most graceful.” I kept my eyes on the darkening street. She took in a breath next to me and stayed quiet for a moment.

 

“I’m sorry too, I overreacted and as soon as I lashed out I knew I wasn’t really mad at you. Whenever it got brought up when I was younger I wouldn’t want to talk about it so if I lashed out enough everyone would just stop and I wouldn’t have to be reminded of the fact that she’s gone.” She took another deep breath and continued, “ I knew there wasn’t something right about her death, and I remember mom being investigating something under the radar of the job… I think it’s what got her killed. The fact that it’s a vampire is even more confusing and frustrating, but I’m, at least, glad I have you,” she stopped, turning to look at me. 

 

I turned but kept my eyes trailed on my boots. 

 

“And I’m sorry that you had to see me like that-” the end of my voice croaked a little.

 

“Carm, there was always something weird about this town, supernatural even. Plus I grew up believing in Harry Potter, okay? This is more cool than anything but I know that it was hard for you to tell me and show me. And honestly, if I hadn’t seen the real side of you, I would have been afraid but I’m not, because I know you,” She paused, “Well not know you know you because I don’t really know any-” 

 

I pressed my lips to hers, and all her words fell away. I pulled back my lips ghosting over her own, her eyes still shut. 

 

“Cutie, you’re rambling,” Her eyes fluttered open, meeting mine. 

 

“Sorry, I just-” I stole the words from her mouth with another kiss, and I felt her smile into the kiss. She pulled away this time and I groaned. 

 

“So we’re okay?” She asked looking at me with those honey brown eyes, that looked enchanting in the street light.

 

I pressed one last soft kiss to her lips, “Yeah cupcake, we’re okay. We'll always be okay." 

 

On my walk home from Laura's I was certain of three things. 1) I was probably going to die in this town. 2) The staying away from her thing was definitely out the window. And the third, most sobering realization,  I was going to get my heart broken by Laura Hollis, I don't know how or when, but this time I don't think I'll be able to survive it. 

  
  



End file.
